Christmas Romance
Friday, 12.21.07 @ 01:04AM
But today is the winter solstice, so we may as well proceed in the spirit of the ancient saturnalia. Love and sex are both expressions of celebration, and have been since before recorded history. And probably will be for as long as there are men and women.
Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas)
Infidelities and Christmas music collide in I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus from Robot Chicken.
The Miraculous Immaculate Crack-Head Christmas Tree.
Fark dared to ask the question, “What do men really want for Christmas?” And the answers are pretty much what you’d expect.
Here’s a fascinating Craigslist ad by a guy who doesn’t want to be alone for Christmas. Alas, it was fake. Be sure to read at least some of the responses he received.
I know, I’ve posted this every year, but it’s too funny to pass up. The 12 STDs of Christmas.
THE RING
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
SANTA CLAUS
(via It Occurred to Me)
It's Christmas Eve and Santa arrives at this beautiful young woman's apartment. She takes one look at Santa and decides that she needs to make love to Santa.
She says “Oh Santa, won't you stay the night?"
Santa replies, “HO, HO, HO, Gotta go! Gotta Go! Gotta deliver those toys, you know."
The young woman tries to tempt Santa again by letting down her long silky hair and begs, “Oh Santa, now won't you stay?"
Santa again replies, “HO, HO, HO, Gotta go! Gotta Go! Gotta deliver those toys, you know."
The young woman tries one last time. This time she opens her house robe and reveals her beautiful body. She then asks, “Oh Santa, won't you please stay?"
Santa, now becoming aroused, replies, “Hey, Hey, Hey, Gotta Stay! Gotta Stay! Won't fit up the chimney THIS way!"
Santa's Pickup Lines
10. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
9. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
8. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
7. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
6. I know when you`ve been bad or good--so let`s skip the small talk, sister!
5. Some of my best toys run on batteries... <wink wink>
4. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that`s what the Mrs. calls it.
3. I see you when you`re sleeping--and you don`t wear any underwear, do you?
2. Screw the "nice" list--I`ve got you on my "naughty" list!
1. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?
Thought for today: Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times. ~Kate L. Bosher
humor jokes video funny Christmas romance sex
View Printer Friendly Version
Reader Comments (5)
It would seem that a big worldwide orgasm is coming:
"How can one person create peace in a war-torn world?
It’s easy; just get yourself off."
"Two San Francisco peace activists, Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, are organizing a Global Orgasm for Peace. It’s set to take place on the winter solstice, Dec. 22." http://www.globalorgasm.org/
If you need any help, you know where to find me.
Merry Christmas, MsC, and a *under the mistletoe hug* from a fan.
Wishing you a happy and very Merry Christmas Miss Cellania.