Dieting
Tuesday, 11.27.07 @ 12:07AM 
Have you been on the scales since Thanksgiving? No? Then you’re like me, you don’t want to face bad news. Turkey, dressing, gravy, potatoes, and pie will conspire against you every time. And even worse is that we are going into the Christmas season, with banquets, feasts, and parties full of cookies, candy, treats made with cream cheese, alcohol, and eggnog. It’s tradition! We eat fat-laden food in winter because we don’t have fresh garden produce and a layer of fat keeps us warmer in the winter. Of course, that logic went out with central heat and imported food, but we keep up the tradition because we can always slap a sweater on top to hide the new seasonal rolls... and I’m not talking about dinner rolls!
Dieting is Hard!
A “skinny gene” may explain why you don’t have skinny jeans.
Illustrated BMI Categories, an art project to show you what the classifications underweight, normal, overweight, obese, and morbidly obese look like on real people. I learned a lot about the Body Mass Index just by people’s reactions to this.
The Cat Miracle Diet.
The Twenty Worst Foods in America. For your health.
The Top 10 Reasons Americans are Overweight
10. Hey, we get 80 channels of great American TV 24 hours a day, there's no time to exercise!
9. "Girl Scout Cookie Dough" gets better tasting every year.
8. The colossal failure of "Salad King" drive-thru chain.
7. Doing it just to spite Richard Simmons.
6. Addition of a diet soda does NOT mean your triple bacon cheeseburger/chili fries combo is a healthy meal.
5. Americans still unconvinced that it's not really butter.
4. Part of our country's defense strategy: Asses too large to be kicked.
3. Slim Fast shakes taste much better with a scoop of Ben & Jerry's in 'em.
2. One word: Sprinkles
... and the Number 1 Reason Americans are Overweight:
1. "Did somebody say McDonald's?"
SWIMSUIT
(via Phil’s Phun)
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
THE STRANGER
(Thanks, Rich!)
This morning I was standing next to a very fat fellow at a urinal when suddenly, for no discernible reason, he confided in me that he "Hadn't seen his 'thing' in 15 years."
Not knowing why he suddenly decided to confide such personal information to a complete stranger, and not knowing what to say and wanting to be helpful, I said,
"Why don't you diet?"
Giving me a surprised sideways stare, he said, "Dye it? WHAT COLOR IS IT NOW?"
Previously at Miss Cellania: More posts on Dieting. 
Thought for today: Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. -Jim Davis
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