Mars and Venus: Crossed Signals
Sunday, 11.25.07 @ 12:05AM 
Another post in the never-ending series on the differences between men and women. Its an eternal research project.
Today is a continuance of last week's topic, the drive to find a soulmate of the opposite sex (at least in most cases). We keep kissing frog after frog, knowing there's a prince or princess out there somewhere. Along the way, so many things can go so wrong. The internet has made meeting each other so much weirder. Here's a drasticly telescoped version of a weeks-long conversation I had with a man I "met" online last year.
He: I saw your picture, and I think you're hot. I want to get to know the woman behind the blog.
Me: I don't know, we have nothing in common, and you live 2000 miles away.
He: OK. Then lets have cybersex.
How to Tell When a Relationship is Over
Oh, here's a really compatible couple.
Should I dump him or not?
Top 10 Dating Mistakes Men Make.
For every complaint on one side, there's a complaint on the other.
Female Comebacks to Lame Opening Lines
Man: Where have you been all my life ?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
A VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE
Tom on the crazy things women find attractive.
From AskMen.com: Why women give bad dating advice.
Previously on Miss Cellania: More Mars and Venus posts, and more Lovelife posts.
Thought for today: If a man tells a woman she's beautiful, she'll overlook most of his other lies.
This post originally appeared on February 18, 2006.
humor gender jokes funny female women male men man woman
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Reader Comments (6)
(I am 7'3" Eurasian male with high hopes of finding a high (6'9") woman with all her own teeth and oodles of cash. Looks not important, since you have so much money we can buy love elsewhere.)