Everyone wants a little lovin’ now and then. Often is good. Even when you’re getting up in years. I see stories about it, and commenters who are totally grossed out. You can imagine how young those commenters are. As the old guy in It’s a Wonderful Life said, “Youth is wasted on the wrong people.” Young folks may have the looks and the health for sex, but they also have too much at stake. They have to worry about making a good impression, pregnancy, being compared to former lovers, choosing a partner that they can put up with for many years, and selecting a parent for their children. And they worry about whther it’s true love or not. Old folks only worry about important things, like whether to take your teeth out first.



Granny’s Ad (via Unibrow)

Elderly Sex Studies Put Young People Off Sex. So don’t do it in front of the kids.

Giving out condoms at the senior citizens center.

Not only are senior citizens having sex, but they’re writing books about it, too!

Geriatric sex advertisements raise more than eyebrows.

This is comforting: 'You don't lose it just because you get old'.

88-year-old woman welcomes her 49-year-old husband home from prison. His crimes? Killing two elderly women. And sexually assaulting a 12-year-old.

POLICE CALL

This elderly spinster called the police. "My next door neighbor is exposing himself. Oh my," she continued, "he's just standing there, big as you please, taking a shower with his window shades up!"

The squad car arrived immediately to catch the evil culprit in the act. She led the cop into her bedroom and pointed out her window. "See what I mean, officer."

The policeman scratched his head and said, "Ma'am, I can only see the top of his head above his window sill."

The lady replied, "Crazy fool, you got to get on up on that dresser over there."

ROMANCE

Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?"

Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his.

With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?" Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.

Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?"

Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"

Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"

INTERVIEW

(via Phil’s Phun)
An old man turned 115 and was being interviewed by a reporter for the local paper. During the interview the reporter noticed that the yard was full of children of all ages playing together. A very pretty girl of about 19 served the old man and the reporter, keeping them in fresh tea and running errands for them.

"Are these your grandkids?" the reporter asked.

"Naw, sir, they all be my younguns," the old man replied with a sly grin.

"Your kids?" said the reporter.

"What about this beautiful young lady who keeps bringing us tea? Is she one of your children too?"

"Naw, sir," said the old man. "She be my wife."

"Your wife?" said the surprised reporter. "But she can't be more than 19 years old."

"Thass right," said the old man with pride.

"Well, surely you can't have a sex life with you being 115 and she being only 19," the reporter remarked.

"Naw, sir, " said the old man. "We have sex every night. Every night two of my boys helps me on it, and every morning six of my boys helps me off."

"Wait just one minute," said the newspaperman. "Why does it only take two of your boys to put you on, but it takes six of them to take you off?"

"Cause," the spry old man said with a balled fist,

"I fights 'em."

Previously at Miss Cellania: Senior Sex,  Older Women, Seniors and Sex, and Sex and the Senior Citizen.

Thought for today: An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. -Mae West

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