A bra can be a woman's best friend and worst enemy. Except for some teenagers and porn stars, most of us have boobs that wander around on their own. They don't have muscles, and they are affected by gravity in various ways. Size, shape, and bouyancy vary tremendously from one woman to the next, and often from side to side and from day to day. In a way, a bra is like a cowboy, it rounds up those babies and heads them in the right direction. But by the end of the day, you can get really tired of heading in any direction at all. Whether our breasts are big or small, under our armpits or hanging by our waists, we are quite attached to them. Our boobs do not define us, but they are part of us, and we depend on bras and bra manufacturers to help us put our best front and center.

 
The History of Underwear. (via Everlasting Blort)

Study finds bras don’t support bouncing breasts. O RLY?

That reminds me of an oldie but goodie: The Bounceometer.

No More Flat Chests!

Why do bras always pick the worst moments to fail?

The Cup&Up surgery to give you a bra underneath the skin.

Victim of Inflation. NSFW. (via Boing Boing)

Patrick Mallucci has thoroughly researched pictures of celebrity women to compile images of the best looking breasts. His work is supposed to help plastic surgeons create the perfect looking breasts when clients request some work done on their natural assets. Now there's dedication to science.

And some reaction to the above article.

Boobie Chew Gum.

SMALL, PLEASE

A very flat-chested Blond finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, “Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?”

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted.

Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, “Do you have anything for this?”

The lady looked closely at her and replied, “Have you tried Clearasil?”

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month, you should scheduled yourself a mammogram if you haven’t had one in the past year -and if you're a guy, remind the women in your life to get one. You should also educate yourself about breast cancer, early detection, symptoms, and research. Then you can support cancer victims and research, by buying a t-shirt, clicking the Breast Cancer Site, or making a direct donation to your favorite breast cancer organization. Finally, you can publicize all the above and help educate everyone about breast cancer.

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, here are the 50 best breasts in movie history.

Plus, a great article on breast cancer and women's self-image.

Please Buy Me A Bra

by cowboy poet Bill Hirschi

You know, I've never been much for shopping
In fact I try to stay away from town
Except when shipping time comes,
I ain't easily found.

But the day came when I had to go
And I left the kids with ma
But before I left she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"

Without thinkin' I said "sure,"
How tough could that job be?
I bent down and kissed her
And said, "I'll be back by three."

Well, when I done the things I needed
I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing,
I was working up a sweat.

I crossed the street to the ladies shop
With my hat pulled over my eyes,
I wasn't takin' any chances
On bein' recognized.

I walked right up to the sales clerk
I didn't hem or haw
I told the lady right straight out,
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."

From behind I heard some snickers
So I turned around to see
At least fifteen women in the store
And they's all gawkin' at me!

"What kind would you be looking for?"
"Well," I just scratched my head
I'd only seen one kind before
"Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gives me a disgusted look
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Come with me," I heard her say,
And like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display
Well I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
When I seen that lingerie.

They had all these different styles
That I'd not seen before
I thought that I'd go crazy
'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
And bras that cross your heart
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel
Like you weren't wearing one at all
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.

Well I finally make my mind up
Picked a black and lacy one
I told the lady,
"Bag it up," And figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size.
I didn't hesitate.
I knew them measurements by heart,
"Six and seven eighths."

"Six and seven eighths, well sir,
That really isn't right."
"Oh yes ma'am, I'm positive,
I just measured them last night."

I thought that she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.

"That's what I use to measure with,
I figured it was fair
But If I'm wrong I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered
And they's all crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured
I gave the gal her pay
I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."

My wife heard the whole story
'fore I ever made it home
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who'd called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For no more women's underwear.

Wonderbra Ad

Previously at Miss Cellania: Bras, Breasts, Underwear, Underthings, Underwear and Lingerie, and Fresh Underwear

Thought for today: The Wonderbra has brought more joy to my life than any other modern invention. -Defective Yeti

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