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« Mars and Venus: We Think Differently | Main | Pizza »
Thursday
Oct042007

Military

There was quite a celebration in my area last weekend. 600 soldiers, including the local Mountain Warriors came home from Iraq! I felt sorry that they had to sit through a speech by the governor when they really wanted to just go be with their families. A few of those guys used to call me at the radio station before they were shipped out. I got all teary-eyed when I passed a house on the way to my mother’s, where a soldier was being welcomed home with an amazing amount of flags, ribbons, and banners. You know there had been a party going on there! I wish they could all come home. Right now.



Military Training

Color photographs from World War II.

Seven Unusual Military Animals.

Nine Battlefield Geniuses.

Spare Change?

(Thanks, Rich!)
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "Sure, buddy."

Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!"

Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "No, SIR!"

The Ten Strangest Weapons Through History. (via the Presurfer)

The US Navy enters the music business. Three music videos by our sailors. I especially like the one by the women!

Lots of funny military pictures.

SMALL TALK AT A PARTY

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for some conversation.

She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major replied, "Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards, medals and decorations and said, "It looks like you've seen quite a lot of action."

The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should just lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself..."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally, deciding to take a different tack, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

The Sergeant Major looked at her and curtly replied, "1955, ma'am."

She gasped, "Well, there you are! You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! Isn't that a little extreme?"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice,"Do you think so? It's only 2130 now..."

The Soviet Army Dancers (via Neatorama)

NAVY RETIREMENT

(Thanks, Phil!)
The Navy found they had too many officers and non coms and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."

Previously at Miss Cellania: Tanks for the Memories

Thought for today:  We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. -Navy adage

PS: Go see my very first YouTube video, and read about how I caught a snake last night.

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Reader Comments (6)

Support a soldier: give him his old job back.
10.04.07 @ 03:03PM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Have seen the snake - brave girl - and commented :D
10.04.07 @ 03:20PM | Unregistered CommenterRennyBA
Some super military humour there!
10.04.07 @ 03:20PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
Actually, in the first joke, the correct version has the woman taking him into the other room and having crazy passionate you-know-what with him. Afterwards she says "Wow, you certainly haven't forgotten much since 1955" And then he replies "I should think so... it's 2130 now".

teee heee heee
from a former Marine ;)
10.04.07 @ 07:22PM | Unregistered CommenterThat one Gurl
Love the soldiers, hate the war.
10.04.07 @ 08:53PM | Unregistered CommenterMotherPie
I see no end to this, and much like my war, the soldiers have no support from the chickenshit politicans.
10.05.07 @ 12:00AM | Unregistered CommenterWalt

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