Disney found out what a good thing was with the 1937 film Snow White. It was artistic, scary, creepy, beautiful, somewhat kinky, and ultimately satisfying. Then in the 50s and 60s, they got sidetracked by exploiting passive busty blonde princesses. The newer crop that began in the 80s was an attempt to do better. Ariel was less passive, but still a busty rebellious teenager who fell for the first pretty face she saw. Belle was a great improvement: heroic, loyal, and she read books too! Jasmine was an attempt to integrate the Princesses, but the movie Aladdin was still full of racial stereotypes, as was Pocahontas. Disney has a hard time getting a clue. Their best effort was Mulan, who was not white, not passive, and not at all boy-crazy. The trouble is, she wasn’t a princess, either. Still, Disney broke a mold with Mulan, then went on to release a truly dreadful sequel that undermined everything the original film was about. The best news is that my kids are just about old enough to see through the “happily ever after” now.



Hit the Road, Jack

Kyle Baker’s twisted version of Sleeping Beauty.

The Dirty Little Mermaid. (audio NSFW)

Sex, drugs, and racism in Disney films: a quiz.

Snow White, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, and Rapunzel in a bit more adult setting.

The Disney Princesses talk about Chlamydia.

Betty Boop as Snow White

Snow White

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She got caught sitting on Pinocchio's face, shouting "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

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Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.

Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,

"Don't worry. Someday your prints will come".
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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.

Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around." Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into the water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into the water before she can. The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED.

Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?

That's easy ... Seven-Up!
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After centuries of misinformation, Fairy Tale Briefs at last reveals the hidden role of underwear in classic tales of enchantment. Here you’ll find the world’s first collection of fairy tales with knickers in their twists. Learn how lingerie saved Snow White’s life. Find out whether Cinderella was acting unseemly—or simply unseamly. And discover what really happened on the Night of the Living Bra.

A delightfully interactive version of Alice in Wonderland. (via the Presurfer)

Adult versions of classic fairy tales.

A fractured version of Cinderella, from Hoss.

You Are Pocahantas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

A SHORT FAIRY TALE

One day long, long ago there was this man who, surprisingly, was not full
of shit........

But this was a long time ago..... and it was just ONE day.

THE END

SLEEPING BEAUTY

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. "I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.

"I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb.

"I've had more lovers than any person in the world," announced Don Juan.

Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.

In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty. "I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin agrees."

In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering,

"Who the hell is Bill Clinton?"

Sonne -Rammstein

Snow White as a dominatrix? Ectoplasmosis has a deconstruction of this video and its drug allusions.

Thought for Today: I used to be Snow White -but I drifted.

humor jokes video funny Disney fairy tales princess Snow White Cinderella Sleeping Beauty Ariel jokes Belle Jasmine Mulan Pocahontas Disney Princess