Miss Cellania

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Overheard

And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Disney Princesses | Main | Love and Romance »
Tuesday
23Oct2007

Horror Stories

Eight days til Halloween! Times for ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggity beasties and things that go bump in the night. I can’t say I understand why people get such a thrill out of scaring themselves silly, even though I participate myself from time to time. Is it the adrenaline rush? Or does an occasional horror story make us feel better about our normal everyday lives? It could be a leftover from our childhood, when our older siblings, and sometimes our parents got such a kick out of frightening us. Or maybe the act of telling a scary story gives us a sense of power over the people we are scaring. I always felt like some kind of success when I could scare someone just with a little story. Maybe I could try some out on you today!



Why Werewolves should not join the astronaut program.

The Five Creepiest Urban Legends (that happen to be true).

Funny Frankenstein and the Wolfman videos!

I wrote up a list of Our Favorite Vampires for mental_floss. Check it out; there’s more than you may remember!

The Top 70 Vampire Movies of all Time! I’ll bet you can guess #1; I did. (via Cynical-C)

Chris at Death By Children has a true ghost story that might make you lose some sleep tonight.

Things that go bump in the night. A fine collection of links to vintage full-length films and radio broadcasts.

Ida is the saddest, unluckiest little girl who ever lived. In Ida’s Luck by Katy Towell, she tries to hold on to the home and family she loves, against all odds. Then it turns scary. Part onePart two. (via Metafilter) More Children R Scary movies by Katy Towell.

The Scariest Thing I Have Ever Seen.

Classic funny skeleton videos.

Skeleton Adventures. An animated screensaver that tells a story with a different ending each time! (Thanks, Sarah!)

Letters from Death: Poetry and Papercuts from Dan Dutton.

Funny Vampire videos!

Mystery of the Haunted Vampire.

I Need Coffee is posting horror trailers and full-length horror films every day this month! They call it The 32 Days of Halloween.

The End (via Deputy Dog)

Things We've Learned From Horror Films

When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. It isn't.

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move immediately.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run.  NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of a group of people, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

If you're searching for something that caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and leave NOW!!
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. Even then, don't do it.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of a female. Even though you may be faster than the monster, you can be sure that it WILL catch you.

If your friends suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such  as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here:  Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Meskatonic University, Camp Crystal Lake, Haddonfield, Illinois, one gas station desert towns or any small town in Maine.

If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, or band saws. This is especially true if they are wearing a hockey mask or one made of human skin.

Spook

Previously at Miss Cellania: Monsters, Ghost Stories, Bigfoot, Jack the Ripper, Murder, and Zombies.

Thought for today: I wish my mother had told me the same thing about horror movies and guys when I was little- “Don't worry, honey, it's all fake.”

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Reader Comments (7)

I know a few email scammers who wish they'd read that list of things to learn from horror films ;-)
10.23.07 @ 05:14AM | Unregistered CommenterAstralFeathers
You have a great blog. It's always fun to visit here!
10.23.07 @ 08:54AM | Unregistered CommenteriZING
Corrollary to one of your things learned, MissC: Monsters always chase you when you're not wearing comfortable shoes.
10.23.07 @ 12:16PM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
RE your Thought For Today:
The scariest scenarios, in film and involving the opposite sex, are the ones that are the most plausibly real . . .
10.23.07 @ 01:05PM | Unregistered CommenterJohn Salisbury
Good advice from horror films, Miss C
10.23.07 @ 03:29PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
As usual, there is too much stuff here. But it was nicely spookified.
10.23.07 @ 07:14PM | Unregistered Commenterold horsetail snake
Astounding! Funny and spoooky. I would have thought that Lost Boys, Interview and Coppola's Dracula (keanu's accent aside..ahem) would have fared better than they did.

I once did a post on how sexy Vampyres are..ooh lala..except for the biting thingamabob.

As usual, You did your homework and your effort is appreciated...absolutely incredible. Nobody works harder at getting it right. You set the bar so high.

10.30.07 @ 12:40PM | Unregistered Commenterhomoescapeons

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