Murder
Wednesday, 01.03.07 @ 12:03AM 
Now that the holidays are over, and I won’t be accused of trying to bring down anyone’s festive holiday season, I can get back to the business of highlighting the screwy side of life... and death. This is the project I was working on when I was sidetracked into doing an entire post on Jack the Ripper. Looking over this collection of links, many that have languished in my files for quite some time, I must warn you that some are disturbing. Murder is a disturbing subject. But you probably would never get an opportunity to see these things if we didn’t have all this strangeness happening on the internet.
The Celebrity Morgue.
The Los Angeles County Coroner’s office has a gift shop, Skeletons in the Closet
. They don’t have a flashy sign or anything at the morgue; that would be tacky. But you can shop online for some tres different gifts.
How long can a decapitated head communicate? This article is disturbing and grotesque.
Learn more about Ten Notorious Serial Killers.
Dead Men Eating is a blog that details the last meals of those executed for heinous crimes. Alrighty then.
Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.
Blog of the Day: The Killer Blog. All about serial killers and related subjects. Thats where I found this video, The Psychotic Odyssey of Richard Chase. This documentary about the The Vampire of Sacramento is performed with Barbie dolls. Even so, its totally creepy.
I took a test called How Dodgy Are You? which made so sense at all to me, but I’m a clueless Yank. It means something about crime in the UK, and here are my results: Crooked
Ello, ello, ello… what 'ave we 'ere then…? You're living close to the edge and it's only a matter of time before you're collared by the Old Bill. You may have fallen on your feet so far, but it won't last forever. Have you ever thought about a more rewarding pastime? (Emotionally that is…)
Based on your answers, we have calculated the maximum penalty for your crimes*:
Years in prison: 27 Potential fine: £7000
*Please note this is just a fun quiz so don't be alarmed by your score! The maximum penalty has been taken for each crime and no consideration for scale of crime committed.
For more about murder, JTR Forums recommends Murder Ink, a bookstore in New York City specializing in crime mysteries, not to be confused with Murder, Inc. Online, you can find out about famous and not-so-famous murder cases at Court TV’s Crime Library.
The Morbid Curiosity Shop has produced this video to tell you about their Serial Killer Greeting Cards.
Hitman is a disturbing parody site about hired killing.
Make your own police sketch.
Death trivia and tidbits. (Thanks, Bill!)
The Murder Trial
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door."
"Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked - but your client didn't!"
THE EXECUTION
Two prisoners, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker.
The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"
To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play "The Macarena" for me one last time?"
"Certainly," replied the warden.
He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned man, "KILL ME FIRST."
Previously on Miss Cellania: Death, Divorce or Murder? and Jack the Ripper
Thought for today: How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 
PS: My Perfect Post Award for the month of December goes to Mike Ashley at It Occurred to me for his post of December first entitled Spirit of Christmas Revisited. It contains the poem Blind Spirit of Christmas, which I reprinted for Christmas Day here. The story of the Christmas Teddy Bear touched my heart. You can find all the December Perfect Post winners listed today at the award sponsors' sites, Petroville and Suburban Turmoil.
humor jokes video funny games crime murder homicide manslaughter
Reader Comments (10)
It's ironic that I spend most of my time posting farcical and funny pieces, and it is one of the few serious writings that I put up that receives this award.
I read that the Murder Ink mystery bookshop was closing - how sad!
You always come up with the most unique stuff! Thanks so much! I can’t wait to see what else 2007 will bring us!
All the best to you!
wow the barbie skit was --- um -- intereesting.
http://peoplegeek.wordpress.com/2007/01/14/running-fool-in-seattle-part-two-luke-outs-zefrank/
It has a belly dancer, too!