Vikings
Sunday, 01.21.07 @ 12:03AM 
Vikings! Manly men, adventurous men, smelly men. The first white men in the New World; they just didn't get the publicity because they didn't go back to Europe and tell everyone about it.
The Viking you’re probably most familiar with is Hagar the Horrible.
My circle had a lot of fun finding our Viking names. I have one friend who is such a Viking that he got his own name back (although in some strange font called "runes"). Mine was Edna Bonemangler, which sure beats those wimps named Sheeptipper or Dogfeeder or Daisypicker. The only thing more oxymoronic than a wimpy Viking would be Viking Kittens, but these kittens rock!
Want to know all about Vikings? Check out the Viking Answer Lady!
Play the game of Viking Quest, which takes you back to AD 793. Can you build a ship, cross the seas, loot a monastery and return home to claim your prize? Your chief has set the challenge, it's up to you to respond. This is more educational than action-packed.
If you are "sort of" into the Viking thing, you can dress like one pretty cheaply. Or you can go all out. But if you are "really into" the Viking thing, check out the Society for Creative Anachronism, and the Vikings of Middle England. They have a page of links to other reenactment sites. And they produced this frightening film.
If you liked that, you can find more reenactment videos here and here.
Viking standup comedy routine unearthed!
If your town has no Viking history, you could just make some up.
This Icelandic journalist was invited to fly in for a beer-tasting party and found himself on a plane with a horde of (well, half a dozen anyway) Vikings who were also invited!
THOR
Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in Valhalla, when suddenly Thor said to Odin, "It's been a long time now. I really need to have sex."
Odin stood and pondered for a while, before replying, "Go to Earth, O Thor, and find thyself what they call a 'lady of joy' and treat her to your manly pleasures."
And this Thor did. The next day, he came back up to see Odin, and told him of the previous night's events. "My friend," he said, grinning from ear to ear, "It was wonderful. We had passionate sex 37 times.."
"37 times!" exclaimed Odin. "That poor woman! Mere mortals cannot endure such treatment. You must go and apologize this instant!"
So Thor went back down to earth and found the aforementioned prostitute, saying. "I'm sorry about last night, but you see, I'm Thor..."
"You're Thor?" shouted the girl. "You're Thor? What about me? I'm tho thor I can't thpeak and can hardly pith!"
NAME
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
Here's some more Viking jokes.
And some Minnesota Vikings jokes.
Thought for today: The floggings will continue until morale improves.
The original version of this post appeared somewhere around August 25, 2005.
humor jokes video funny Vikings Thor barbarian reenactment games
View Printer Friendly Version
Reader Comments (8)
The Norsemen were rowing "The Great Viking" on a long, long trip across the ocean when the Overseer came to the Oarsmen and said, "I have good news...and bad news."
"First the good news, the Great Viking says you can all have an extra helping of grog tonight!"
and there was much rejoicing...until he spoke again..
"And now the bad news. The Great Viking wants to water ski."
Some of my distant relatives are the Ekebergs so I'm entitled to make fun....
e
I know, Iknow they were Gauls! They just made vikings so much more fun!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one
My morale will improve; I'm promise.
My name is Jodis Sheeptipper. I like chocolate truffles. They would really improve my morale.
Vikings are too burly and violent for me. They need a good washing and a razor.
OK, this one time, MissC....
I've been wanting to thank you for a while now by posting the Viking Kittens link to your site! I'm thrilled that your fellow kitten enthusiasts enjoy them as much as I do.
Viking Kittens rock!
I'm adding your blog to our links page xD