Twice in Washington, DC, I hailed a cab. I didn’t want to do it, but both times I’m glad I did. Not for myself, you understand, but for the children. Actually, just for Gothgrrl, who weighs a scant 40 pounds and has the stamina of a Mayfly. Oh, she has plenty of energy! She even has decent strength for a kid her size. But after a day of sightseeing and walking from monument to monument, she just keeled over. I always said she had two speeds: wide open, and asleep. “Asleep” took over, still a half-mile from the Metro station. Twice in one weekend. I was a little tired myself, and didn’t relish carrying a 40 pound kid. I wished for a stroller, but its hard to fit an 52” eight-year-old in one. So we got a taxi. And I was very thankful to be able to hand over all my money for a ride to the hotel.

You think you’re hiring a taxi, but its really a stunt driver working for a TV show. What fun is that? (via Gorilla Mask)

Cartoon time! Here’s Popeye in Taxi-Turvy.

You’re the taxi-driver in this little scenario, but you don’t HAVE to drive it well. Try different buttons to cause different events.

Blog of the day: NYC Taxi Shots is apparently a blog of photographs taken by a taxi driver. I can’t get any more information, but the pictures are fascinating.

Latka Gravis has a page of silliness. For you youngsters, he was a character on the TV show Taxi.

HEAVEN

A minister dies and, resplendent in his clerical collar and colorful robes, waits in line at the Pearly Gates. Just ahead of him is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Green, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list, smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff, and enter into the Kingdom."

So the taxi-driver enters Heaven with his robe and staff, and the minister is next in line. Without being asked, he proclaims,

"I am Michael O'Connor, head pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list and says, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the preacher, "that man was a taxi-driver, and you issued him a silken robe and golden staff. But I get wood and cotton. How can this be?"

"Up here, we go by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept -- while he drove, people prayed."

JUST A TAP

(Thanks, John!)

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

REVENGE

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc., but to no avail.

The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.
Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked?

"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.

"And how much for you to give me oral sex on the way?"

"What? Get the hell out of my cab."

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?"

The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks."

The businessman said "ok", and off they went.

Thought for today: Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.

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