My  previous post on geography turned out to be quite popular! From mapmaking to getting lost, I’ve heard stories from all over (geographically speaking). My kids are now both whizzes at geography, thanks in part to the links I found while doing blog research. But not everyone feels so enthusiastic about the subject. Grandpa Tucker, for example:

Geography's Fun (NOT!)

The Greeks gave us the Olympic Games
And mythical gods with funny names.
But they caused lots of grief for me
When they invented Geography.

I am not in love with Geography.
It's about weird places I'll not see.
To tell the truth I see no use
And think it's simply child abuse.

We study earthquakes with no result—
I still can't figure who's at fault.
In baseball games, I'll bet you'd find,
They called the Roman Empire blind.

Remember a flat top hill that's cute
And you won't mispronounce a butte.
Why, out in Montana, (weren't they witty?)
The folks used Butte to name a city.

I just don't care and never will
About sea level up on a hill.
But it has a special meaning to me
When I'm wading out into the sea.

I found my mom and then I asked her,
"Tell me about old Madagascar."
She said, " Let me think, I'm just not sure,
But I heard the doctors found a cure."

And because the Greeks liked Geography
Dumb questions like these are asked to me:
Will crossing the Equator make you weary?
Are ear muffs the answer to the "Big Bang Theory?"

Were the Sandwich Islands ever eaten?
Are folks in the Badlands ever beaten?
Are there remainders at the "Great Divide?"
Are the You-kraine and Me-kraine side by side?

Do brain surgery, I'm sure you'll find
That Geography has clogged my mind.
Just take it out and I won't fret.
I can find that stuff on the Internet!

—Grandpa Tucker
Copyright ©1999 by Bob Tucker

Odd customs from around the globe!

This video has a picture of every country in the world. Until some revolution somewhere changes the map again. (via the Presurfer)

Vocabulary is Fun! Yes, this DOES have something to do with geography.

You know the answer: Forty-two. This guy knows it, too, and he’s set out to photograph every highway 42 in the world. No, really!

Minature Earth is a movie that illustrates (with updated statistics) what the earth would be like if there were only 100 people here. Awesome.

Breathing Earth shows the birth and death rates and CO2 emissions in differennt countries. Scroll over the map to bring up facts about countries.

Have you ever heard of “alternate geography”? Its the “what if?” of geography. For example, NEU-YORK is an obsessively detailed alternate-history map, imagining how Manhattan might have looked had the Nazis conquered it in World War II.

Phoons from around the world.

The geography of women. Just proving that some guys are lost.

The oddest map I’ve seen yet. The New York City Subway Smells Map labels each subway line with the predominant smell associated with it. (Thanks, Bill!)

Eric’s List of Geography Songs.

 SKUNKFEATHERS ON GEOGRAPHY

- first time I flew cross country, I eagerly anticipated seeing the state lines; but as we flew along, I saw not one border I'd come to know on endless US maps. What a case of false advertising.

- with my working at the company "HQ" of an international corporation, we had an impressive stock of flags from other countries, which we'd put up on the poles entering the facility, when the appropriate representatives visited. I was once asked to do an inventory of the flags (the original one was apparently lost); using an almanac, I determined we had the flags for 48 countries, one of which was Upper Volta. Except at that time, there was no longer an Upper Volta. That flag would never fly. Bummer.

- In '91, my world geography further atrophied as the USSR became the UFFR (Union of Fewer and Fewer Republics).

Now I'm happy to get from Point A to Point B ;)

 
Phil Jacobsen in Antarctica sent a roll of duct tape  to Dick in Darlington on request. Its because Dick teaches geography in Wisconsin, and has duct tape from all over. Another fascinating way to not only get students interested in other places, but also to make a lots of friends!

 Geography Burglar

A burglar went into the bank and pointed a gun at the teller and said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be geography!"

The teller laughed nervously, "You mean history, right?"

The burglar snapped back, "Don't change the subject!"

QUIZ TIME!

Try this Map Game. How many Middle Eastern and Northern African states do you know? I had trouble with Qatar and Bahrain (I still haven’t found Bahrain), but the rest were easy. (via h)

Google Maps had to get into the geography game biz, but they’ve made it really difficult. You get a small piece of map, and have to plot where in the world it is. Here’s a hint: you can drag the upper map around a little to get a bearing, but it won’t help much. If you get within a thousand miles, you’re doing good! (via the Presurfer)

While we are on the subject of Google Maps, Where Am I is a Google Map displaying where you are using your IP number.
When you go to the site, it immediately recognizes where you are. At least most people. It couldn't find me, but neither can anyone else. If you don’t know your IP number, you can find it here.  (via the Presurfer)

For a real test of your geographical abilities, take the Mental Floss geography Challenge! I didn’t do too well, but I WILL improve.

If all these quizzes are too hard for you, try this easy one. It seemed to go on forever til I figured out the game is only over when you miss a few.

Try the State Nicknames Quiz. I did pretty good!
Are you running for president?
You got 12/14 correct.
Yep, you're smart. Are you putting that big brain to good use?

GEOGRAPHY EXAM

These are supposedly answers to grade school and high school geography exams. Whether thats true or not, they are plenty funny!

Climate is caused by the emotion of the earth around the sun.
The people of Japan ride around in jig-saws.
The plains of Siberia are roamed over by the lynx and the larynx.
Lindberg is the capital of Germany.
The chief animals of Australia are the kangaroo, larkspur, boomerang, and peccadillo.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called Mummies.
Don Juan is a town in the West Indies.
Germany is an industrial country because the poor have nothing else to do, so they make lots and lots of factories.
Where is Alaska? Alaska is not in Canada.
Spain's national music is the cascarets.
What people live in the Po Valley? Po people.
In Pittsburgh they manufacture iron and steal.
In Athens there is a temple called the Pancreas.
The Alimentary Canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
Georgia was founded by people who had been executed.
When we cross the Hudson River we come to the United States.
Where is the greater part of Europe? In New York.
The principal export of Sweden is hired girls.
The Indian squabs carry porpoises on their backs.
Among the enduring remains of Egyptian civilization are pyramids and obsequies.
The writing of ancient Egypt was called hydraulics.
Rome had a fine defensive position, being seven miles from the mouth of the Tiger.
The seaport of Athens is Pyorrhea.
The Greeks wore scandals on their feet.
In what general direction to the rivers of France flow? From the source to the mouth.
The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
Manhattan island was bought from the Indians for about $24, and now I don't suppose you could buy it for $500.
The United States are mostly populated by people.
The State of Virginia was named for the Virgin Mary, who afterward married Captain John Smith.
What is the sound west of the State of Washington? The sound of the ocean.
Canadians raise boll weevils for their wool.
Where is Cincinnati? First place in the National League.
Floods from the Mississippi may be prevented by putting big dames in the river.
Denver is just below the 'o' in Colorado.
They don't raise anything in Kansas but Alpaca grass, and they have to irritate that to make it grow.
The benefit of latitude and longitude is that when a man is drowning he can call out what latitude and longitude he is and we can find him.
Virginia is the mother of President Wilson and is also noted for her hysterical sights.
The chief products of the Hawaiian Islands is rainfall.
Philistines were inhabitants of the Philippine Islands.
The original tribes of Central America were the Axtecs, the Celts, and the Morons.
New Zealand is a democratic country. they passed a law there preventing women from sweating in the factories.
Malays are brown generally and inhabit Malaria.
The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
The Kaffirs of Africa are a very savage race. In times of war they beat their tum-tums and can be heard for miles around.
The American Indians travel in birchbark canoes on little streams of water that they make themselves.
The state flower of Colorado is the concubine.
The soil of Prussia was so poor that the people had to work hard just to stay on top.
The Mason line is the line running north of the Equator and the Dixon line is south.
In the west, farming is done mostly by irritating the land.
Oceania is a continent that contains no land.
There is a great deal of nothing in the center of Australia.
Asked to name six animals peculiar to Arctic regions, a boy replied, "Three bears and three seals."
Climate lasts all the time, but weather lasts only a few days.
Latitude tells how hot you are and longitude tells how cold you are.
The Menai Straits are crossed by a tubercular bridge.
Sienna is famous for being burnt.
The climate of Bombay is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
The sun never sets on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the east and the sun sets in the west.
The trade of Spain is small, owing to the insolence of the people.
The Eskimos are God's frozen people.
The sun sets in the west and hurries around to the east to be in time to rise the next morning.
Name three animals peculiar to frigid regions. The lion and the giraffe and the elephant are peculiar to frigid regions, but the polar bear and the seal and the walrus live there.
People go to Africa to hunt rhinostriches.
Glaciers spread a murrain over the land.
The highest peak in the Alps is the Blanc Mange.
The Equator is a menagerie lion running around the earth and through Africa.
Imports are ports very far inland.
Nearly at the bottom of Lake Michigan is Chicago.
The chief occupation of Perth is Dying.
The inhabitants of Moscow are Mosquitoes.
The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
A mountain range is a cooking stove used at high altitudes.
An Indian Reservation consists of a mile of land for every five square Indians.
The only signs of life in the Tundra are a few stunned corpses.
Among the islands of the West Indies are the Pyjamas, noted for their toilet sponges.
Lipton is the capital of Ceylon.
The population of London is a bit too thick.
Persian cats is the chief industry of Persia, hence the word purr.
The Mediterranean and the Red Seas are connected by the Sewage Canal.
New York is behind Greenwich time because America was not discovered until very much later.
Henry VIII had an abyss on his knee which made walking difficult.
Certain areas of Egypt are cultivated by irritation.
Zanzibar is noted for its monkeys. The British Governor lives there.
A watershed is a shed in the middle of the ocean where ships shelter during a storm.

Previously on Miss Cellania: Geography and Location, location, location

Thought for today: No matter where you go, there you are.

PS. I read that Poopie has talked to Scamp, and Hoss came through surgery just fine. Praise the Lord.

humor jokes video funny games geography maps places location cartography