Football
Monday, 09.25.06 @ 12:04AM 
Let me first clarify that this post deals with American football. Everywhere else in the world, football means soccer, which is played with the feet, duh. The US just has to be different. It doesn’t make much sense if you think about it... only one guy on each team uses a foot on the ball, then he sits down while the rest fight it out. But what else would we call it? Handball is another sport. Dodgeball is taken, too. How about Padded Big Guys Crashing Into Each Other? Nah, too long. If you have any better ideas, please leave them in the comments.
Football blog: The Caucasian Wide Receivers of America.
The classic play where “the marching band refused to yield.”
Top 10 Unsportsmanlike Plays, including, but not limited to, football. 
A montage of ESPN Bloopers. Once again, not limited to football, but this is as good a place to put it as any. ‘Cause its funny!
The Ten Dirtiest Names in Sports. By now, you’ve figured out that I’m throwing all my sports links in here, football or not.
Sometimes the cheerleaders and the band make some awful mistakes, too.
Maybe you’d be more interested in the cheerleader auditions.
Blog of the Day: Female Fan, girl talk about football.
*Pro linemen are so huge that it takes just four of them to make a dozen.
*I knew that he was on steroids. His I.Q. and neck size were the same number.
*Our linebacker is so strong he can pitch horseshoes while they're still on the horse.
*I thought one of the linemen had a tattoo on his leg but it turned out to be a government meat inspection stamp.
*He's so huge, instead of a number he should have a license plate.
THE FRESHMAN
The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
Jocks
Two star college football players had failed a test, and could not play football in the championship game. After a lot of begging from the coach, the teacher finally let the two take the test again. They took the test, and turned it in.
The coach and the two students watched carefully over the teacher grading the tests. She checked over the first test, then over the second test. Half way through the second test she stopped and put a great big "F" on both tests.
The coach was furious and demanded an explanation. She said that they had cheated.
"How?" the coach demanded.
The teacher showed him answer number six. The coach looked at number six on the first test. The answer read 'I don't know.'
"That proves nothing." said the coach.
So the teacher handed him the second test. The answer to number 6 read 'I don't know either.'
UK NEWS
Football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours for the Kentucky Wildcats.
One of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. The coach immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate.
After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the Wildcat players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
Previously on Miss Cellania: Super Bowl 
Thought for today: Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them.
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Reader Comments (16)
I think it all started with the Stanford Marching Band ... I remember that game very well! The band played at my neighbor's party the next weekend. I don't think they ever did live that one down.
It's boring and ridiculous and it is played by wimps for wimps who spend a perfectly beautiful fall afternoon watching grown men grope each others asses.
Andy Griffith had a funny comedy routine in the 50s called "What it was was football." I've tried to find the audio for it online with no real success, but here is something about it, from About.com
http://humor.about.com/b/a/241015.htm
http://www.swaggersays.com/Default.asp?Page=36
Brings back memories of my childhood.
Never been much of a fan of football, although back in my high school days when I was a band nerd, I went to every one of the games, knew all the jocks and cheerleaders. It was a clique kind of thing. Now, I can definitely live without it. Football is just one of those things I grumble about while changing the channel and thanking GOD that there are more channels than ESPN and the local ones with all the games going on. I think these so-called "athletes" get paid entirely too much money for what they do, but oh well. I'm not the one who encourages that market. Don't buy the tickets. Don't buy the garb, etc., etc. To each his own. Enjoy the season, if that's your thing.
I like playing flag football with a bunch of white guys.
So I vote you call it WendyBall.
Its a ball game played by a bunch of Wendies. :)
How about a woman from each country? :)