My daughters went to a Sock Hop Friday. It was their first dance. They are eight and nine. I wasn’t worried; it was a Girl Scout function and there weren’t any boys there. They got a chance to dress up and learn some old dances, like the Twist and the Mashed Potato. I don’t think they attempted the Lindy Hop. Anyway, to dress them in 50s-style duds, I had a choice of sewing something or buying something. I headed straight to Goodwill. There I found no poodle skirts, no pink satin, and no saddle oxfords. But while in the shoe section, an insistant little voice started calling to me. It drew me in like a magnet. It was The Shoes. The retro heels I had been dreaming of for years. At Goodwill, for heaven’s sake! I oohed and aahed over them, knowing they would never fit me. But Lo and Behold, they were a size six! So now I have the shoes of my dreams, ready to accessorize my red and black winter clothing. For $1.50.

Oh yeah, the girls looked nice in their Grease getups. And Princess wants to wear my new shoes. Forget it, kid!

One blog that will never run out of material: Dumbasses In Government.

The second annual Most Corrupt Members of Congress Report.

I love the New Yorker magazine, but when the articles seem too long, you can read it in the condensed Haiku version at Drunken Volcano. (via Sarcasmo’s Corner)

I don't know what to think about this acrobatic act . Even with the trickery involved, I find it strangely entertaining! (via Everlasting Blort)

Of course you’ve noticed the plethora of Web 2.0 sites with names that are misspellings of normal words, like Flickr. Rdiculous is a blog that catalogs these. There are way more than you think!

Drawings by an experimental subject on LSD. About what you’d expect. (via Neatorama)

THE BROKEN LEG

"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg.

"Well, doc, 25 years ago..."

"Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."

"Like I was saying... 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I said no, everything is fine. 'Are you sure?' she asked. 'I'm sure,' I said. 'Isn't there anything I can do for you?' she wanted to know. 'I reckon not' I replied.

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your leg?"

"Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"

The Wartime Catchphrase Generator.

The 25 Worst Websites.

This guy is good. Real good. Watching him tumble is a delight. But it made me tired.

Sometimes I think that computer programs have gotten too smart for their own good.

Maybe this is a TV game show. Or stage show. Or filmed just for the internet, who knows? These guys have a powerful incentive to say a certain tongue-twister correctly. I bet they had to sign some kind of waiver. 

What time is it?

Oh, THIS looks like fun! Lets eat lots of sausages and then take a ride in the vomit comet!

The Blue Man Group has an art application you can use to send a message. Here’s mine!

The funniest Fark thread I’ve ever read. I’ve still not finished it, so there may be NSFW pictures in it somewhere. But just this week, a new one came up that may be in the running.

You Are Incredibly Logical

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic You think rationally, clearly, and quickly. A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

I love this game! No Circles. No instructions; just figuring each level out is the fun of it. And it doesn’t get any easier as it goes along. (via Militant Platypus)

Fat is only ugly until you put a nipple on it. Makes you think, doesn’t it? No? Well, enjoy it anyway. (nudity here)

MC Hammer’s Blogger profile.

When the Chinese think of Tiananmen Square, they think of the largest public gathering place in China, at the former Imperial Palace, where all kinds of public celebrations occur. When the West thinks of Tiananmen Square, we think of this. Has it really been 17 years? Warning: heartwrenching.

A blog devoted entirely to girlwatching in New York City. (via Yesbutnobutyes)

Some people use the internet for networking, some for shopping, some for furthering their education. Then there’s the person who came up with this. (via File It Under)
        

PICKLE

(Thanks, April!)
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, I did." he replied.

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."

And just because you should hear some good music, here's Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. 

PS Once again, I must ask my friends (both of you) to go to Eat My Hamster's fresh stuff page and give a thumbs-up to several of my posts, just to get them off the page and into the queue.

Thought for today: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

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