The bizarre demise of Steve Irwin via stingray last week has sea creatures in the news. That has nothing to do with this collection of links, which I’ve had for quite some time. But it highlights the attraction and dangers of sea creatures. They have their world, and we have ours. When we visit their world, we have to abide by their rules. Sea creatures very rarely invade our world (photo notwithstanding), and when we haul them up, its our responsibility to care for them. Or eat them in a timely manner, whichever. Be that as it may, there are no rules against cracking jokes at their expense.

The Dolphin Stress Test.

The blog of the day is about squid. Its called Squid.

Attack of the Giant Jellyfish.

Cartoon: Dugong, the Cow of the Sea.

The Rosy-Lipped Batfish.

Ocean Hunter, the game where you try to repel a fish invasion. Shoot arrows with your submarine ship before they destroy you.

The man put his arm in the crocodile’s mouth. What did you expect him to do? (via Arbroath)

PAgent explains the pressure differential under the sea, and has a video of an unlucky crab to demonstrate.

Take a virtual swim with tropical sea creatures in this music video of Carl’s summer vacation.

THE SCUBA DIVER

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.

The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

THE SHARK CHALLENGE

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.'

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks.

The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'

Pictures of guys getting a little too familiar with sharks. Scroll down this page for a section of jokes, too!

See a fascinating demonstration of underwater camoflage in this video of The Amazing Disappearing Fish.

The Adventures of Mr. Bigtooth.

TWO WHALES

Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father five years before.  Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's death, the male whale says to the female "Let's go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales."  The female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly. 

Once the whaling ship has completely sunk, the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way back to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats.  Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale yells "They're going to shore - Let's go gobble them up!"   Just then, the female whale becomes less cooperative: "Look", she says, "I agreed to the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"

RIDDLE

How do you circumcise a whale?
With four skin divers.

Thought for today: I wish, I wish I was a fish.   -The Incredible Mr. Limpet

humor jokes video funny games ocean sea creatures underwater undersea