Miss Cellania

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And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« August 6 Links | Main | Economics »
Saturday
05Aug2006

Beer Technique

beerposter.jpgA nice tall cool one for a hot weekend! Or at least some slightly humorous links and jokes about one, beer that is, today on Miss Cellania. Thanks to Carl for the first several links, which became the impetus for this post.

Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than beer!

How to open a beer bottle the American way,  then the Scandinavian way, also the Brazilian way,  and the difficult way.

There are lots more ways to open a beer bottle.

How to pour a beer. NOT!

How beer can save your life.

Whatever you do, hang onto your beer!

Test your beer-serving and bartending skills with the game The Bar.

I’m not as drunk as you think I am. A musical interlude.

Beer warning! (Thanks, Eva!)

 
BEER AND THE HUMAN BRAINbeercroc_beer_ian_t.jpg

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during their university years. So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge should not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint. Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.
Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be.

beerfuneral.jpgCAJUN FIRST AID

Boudreaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy Thibodeaux. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife Clotile. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Boudreaux woke up with serious pain in both his head and butt and Clotile staring at him from across the room.beercartoon.jpg
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Boudreaux?"
Boudreaux said, "Mon cher, why you say such a mean ting?"
"Well," Clotile said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes but mostly.....
it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror".

 

Try some of the new Greenland Icecap Beer, the best benefit of global warming I’ve yet seen!

You can buy a hat made from a beer case for about $32. Or you can buy two cases, drink the beer, and try to make one yourself! Good luck.

More silliness at Rob’s Beer Quote Page.

beercomment.png

Previously on Miss Cellania:
Alcohol
Beer

Tequila Beach Party

Drinking

Thought for today: He was a wise man who invented beer.  - Plato

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Reader Comments (13)

that's the first cajun joke I think I've ever seen.....
08.05.06 @ 12:11AM | Unregistered Commentermister anchovy
Beer today, gone tomorrow.

Eh...probably sooner ;-)
08.05.06 @ 05:07AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
Who is that handome young man sitting at the bar with the long tail?
08.05.06 @ 09:22AM | Unregistered CommenterSenor
I'm a tequila girl myself.
08.05.06 @ 09:51AM | Unregistered Commenterjules
Beer....I partake infrequently these days, though I will drink more than a few if I'm at the beach in the summer and the beer is very cold.

I love Boudreaux/Thibodeaux jokes and have a few favorites of my own.
08.05.06 @ 11:04AM | Unregistered CommenterCarlos
To paraphrase Homer Simpson....Beer....the cause of and solution to all of life's problems
08.05.06 @ 03:56PM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Thibodeaux and whatshisface: Quite a pair.
08.05.06 @ 04:59PM | Unregistered CommenterOld Horsetail Snake
Liked the joke!!
08.05.06 @ 07:11PM | Unregistered CommenterRachel
I will be back to read this soon..I just wanted to let you know you were right about LBB. He is not a true purple he is a Mauve and I had trouble finding information on that color..
This is what I found:
Mauve represents endurance, cooperation, trust, and self-confidence. They are humble people.
08.05.06 @ 08:40PM | Unregistered CommenterRaggedy
Berry good post!
Hugs
08.06.06 @ 02:25AM | Unregistered CommenterRaggedy
Beery I mean..hahaha
08.06.06 @ 02:26AM | Unregistered CommenterRaggedy
And still another way to open a beer...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZK-RYRNy0A
08.06.06 @ 11:22AM | Unregistered CommenterBadabing
I drew that cartoon, by the way!
08.06.09 @ 01:11AM | Unregistered CommenterIan T.

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