A lot of folks consider the best thing about pigs is that they are delicious. This does not include those of the Jewish or Muslim faith. Or those who have just read Charlotte’s Web. The second best thing about pigs is the way we can joke about them. There’s a lot of material here, but notice I have NOT included any references to policemen or male chauvinist pigs. Well, maybe one.

Pigs in space. Not for children or sensitive folks.

Pigs in Space with Blonde.

Squeal like a pig!

Go hog wild this weekend!

The History of the Flying Pig.

Thank God for Bacon! (Thanks, Bill!)

Lots of links for people who love bacon.

Rudy, the two-headed piglet.

This post wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t include a link to the famous Draw a Pig Personality Test.

THE WOODEN LEG

A guy is driving through the countryside and suddenly develops car trouble. The highway is rather deserted, and having no other choice, he pulls his car over. Fortunately, he spies a farmhouse a little ways up and walks there in hope of using a phone to call for help. At the house, a farmer answers the door, and hearing the man's plight, welcomes him in to use the phone. While the man is on the phone calling a towing service, he notices something odd in the farmer's backyard: a pig with a wooden leg. Waiting for the tow truck, the two strike up a conversation. The man can't help his curiosity and asks the farmer, "Was that a pig with a wooden leg I saw in your yard?"

"Sure was," the farmer replies.

The man says, "I have to know, why does the pig have a wooden leg?" "Well, that's a very special pig," the farmer says. "One day, I tripped and sprained my ankle near the highway. That pig pulled me from harm's way and went to the house, got my wife, and let her know I was in trouble."

"Wow," the man said. "I don't know of many dogs that could do that. That is a special pig. But, please tell me, why does the pig have a wooden leg?"

"Well, as I was saying," the farmer replied, "that's a very special pig. One day me and the wife were asleep in bed when the house caught on fire. That pig ran upstairs, jumped on the bed, woke the both of us up, and sure as I'm talking to you today, saved our lives."

"I understand that pig is very special," the man says, getting a little frustrated, "But, please tell me. Why does the pig have a wooden leg?"

"Well," the farmer replies, "a pig as special as that, you wouldn't want to eat him all at once now, would you?"

BREEDING PIGS

A city boy decided to quit the rat race and bought himself a farm, which included a few sows. He wanted to breed the sows, but had no idea how to go about it. His neighbor volunteered his boars for the job, and told the city boy to bring them over in the pickup the next day. In the afternoon when he went to pick them up, the city boy asked how he would be able to tell if the sows were impregnated. He was told to look and see where they were early in the morning. If they were up on the hill, they were pregnant; if they were in the sty, it hadn't worked.

The next morning, he leapt from the bed and looked up the hill, but alas the pigs were down in the mud. Grumbling, he loaded them back into the pickup and headed for the neighbors. The following three mornings were just the same; he would leap from the bed, look up the hill, find the pigs down in the mud and have to return them to the neighbors to let the boars have another shot at them. On the fifth morning, he looked up the hill, and there were no pigs. He looked down in the sty; still no pigs. He called to his wife, "Where the hell are the pigs today?"

Amid hysterical laughter, she managed to choke out, "They're down in the truck, and the big one is honking the horn!"

BIG PIGS

Miss Piggy
Piglet
Pumbaa
Arnold Ziffle
Babe
Wilbur
Porky Pig
The Three Little Pigs
Napolean and Snowball

THE ENCOUNTER

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.

Thought for today: The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Gives us ham and pork and Bacon.
Let others think his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the Pig.  
                             -Ogden Nash

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