In one of his books (I can’t remember which), Michael Moore explains that the average American supports whatever rich people want to do because everyone holds the delusion that they, too, may someday be rich. This optimism is what fuels a lot of gambling. Everybody likes to dream! When you start to rely on your dreams, you can get in trouble. When gambling gets out of control, it can ruin families, careers, and lives. But when you regard it as entertainment, and only spend as much as you are entertained by, I don’t see the harm. That's how I would regard a poker game, as entertainment. Take ten dollars and play til its gone, which was usually most of the evening. My ex-husband, on the other hand, would pull out the checkbook. But lets not talk about unpleasant things, lets have some fun with gamling today.

Phil Jacobsen down in Antarctica has been not-so-patiently awaiting the first plane of the season. They even held a pool over what moment the plane would touch down. Read about how he obsessed over his number. Then read the amazing turn of events when the plane touched down. Its a story worth telling your grandkids.

LOST IN TRANSLATION

A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on that trip won $100,000. He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home -- arriving back 3 a.m. He immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole.

He noticed footsteps leading from the hole tothe house next door, which was owned by a deaf man. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house.

"You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my $100,000 I'm going to kill him!" he screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree."

The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you. He said he'd rather die first."

Scratch Off Emergency. Careful listening to this, you may wet yourself.

Here’s a little story about the Gambler’s Revenge.

How to play craps. This made no sense at all to me.

A classic, The Winning Ticket. NSFW audio.

How to tell if you might have an addiction to poker.

The day the office pool won the lottery.

THE POKER GAME

Rabbi, a minister, and a priest are playing poker when the police raid the game. Addressing the priest, the lead officer asks: "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"

Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispers, "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then says, "No, officer, I was not gambling."

The officer then asks the minister: "Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?"

Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replies, "No, officer, I was not gambling."

Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asks: "Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?"

Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replies: "With whom?"

THE PRAYER

A guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the chapel and begins to pray........... "God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue. "God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!!

Back to the chapel. "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob is confronted by the voice of GOD himself: "JACOB, BUY A TICKET!!".

THE KENTUCKY WOMAN

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Kentucky arrived and bet
twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers
stared at each other dumfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

Moral -Not all Kentuckians are stupid and not all blondes are dumb,but all men are men.

Thought for today: Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people. -W. C. Fields

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