School is back in session, which lightens my schedule just a little. I’m still knee-deep in tomatoes, producing salsa, sauce, juice, and just plain canned tomatoes for a year’s consumption. My naps will have to be before school turns out, because the other day my daughters decided to make a volcano and make it erupt with vinegar and baking soda. The problem was that they couldn’t find anything to make the volcano with. Inspiration struck them, and they formed a huge mound out of three pounds of ground coffee with a little water. Coffee doesn’t cohere the way clay or papier mache does, so we are still finding coffee grounds in strange places, like the salt shaker. I was not a happy camper when I awoke to THAT mess!

Check out this little hickory tree growing in my basement. The seed had probably been there for 50 years, deposited there before the room was built, when that area was under the porch. A few months ago, I removed a platform over a patch of dirt floor and exposed it to enough light to spur germination. The basement door, not being well-hung, is always open. I’m letting it grow, just to see how long it can survive without a drop of water.

You have to introduce your baby to the proper music at an early age. Now you can do that, with lullaby versions of your favorite rock songs. (via Arbroath)

Watch this Nintendo Wii parody spot. And another parody, even funnier. And the Deliverance version.

I want a Carver! I bet it gets some awesome gas mileage, too. (Thanks, Bill!)

An illustration from Bonanza Jellybean of how stupid people can be.

Here’s a game where you can Kill the Teletubbies with a chainsaw, pistol, or rifle. Particularly stress-releiving for parents of toddlers.

Check out a new blog called The Dumb Side, its got some funny stuff!

The missing body parts of ten famous people.

DOILIES

There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totalling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grand-mother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."

The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.

He said, "But what about all of this money? How did you manage to save all this money?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling doilies."

The 15 most influential websites to date. I don't see anything to argue with here.

Loituma meets Numa Numa in The Interweb Medly, a giant horrible squishing-together of the interweb's 12 catchiest songs!

Lightning Bug’s Butt has a book out, just in time for Christmas gift-giving, Fireflies in the Meadow. Read about it here.

Are you a freak? I am! Take the quiz. I'm 85% freak!!

Scott from Eat My Hamster has a new blog about travel called Destination Somewhere. Makes you want to pack up and go!

New travel restrictions ban musical instruments as carry-ons. This is really bad news for professional musicians who have a gig in another country.

I found a site (actually they found me) thats pretty interesting. JTRForums.com is a place for “all things Ripper”, meaning Jack the Ripper. Fascinating stories and research. You can read without registering, but serious Ripperologists will want to sign up and post.

Genuine is gearing up early for the 2006 BoB (Best of Blogs) Awards. He’s looking for volunteers to help out. If you won last year, you can’t win this year, so you may as well volunteer to help, OK?

Now this is Bluegrass! Hayseed Dixie.


Cyclists were warned about inflamed bladders in Wales. Turns out to be a false alarm. Hey, I know two guys who speak Welsh, how come the highway department can’t find anyone?

The TSA has issued new guidelines for bringing snakes on a plane. (via Boingboing)

Steven Colbert as a superhero? You betcha!

I want one of these! Its a camera that will make you look slimmer!

Jon Stewart and Samuel L. Jackson. You’ll want to watch this.

A flying dog. This is just way too funny.

High-Speed Photography. Fascinating stuff here! (via the Presurfer)

How to eat Sushi the Japanese Way. Make a note to watch this when you’ve got eight minutes, its really funny. (via Neatorama)

Marti did her first interview about her book “Queen of Klutz”. Go see it!

I have heard that Mel Gibson hates juice. Imagine that! (Thanks, Bill!)

13 of the Stupidest Things Politicians have Ever Said. These are fodder for my “Thought for today”.

LOST

A little boy was waiting on his mother to come out of a store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new preacher in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you don't even know the way to the post office!"

Think about this one, guys. If you were born with two penises, what would your life be like? Would you have one removed? Are you sure?

If you liked The Big Lebowski edit from a few weeks ago, edit, you’ll love this edit from just three episodes of the HBO series Deadwood. Both are very much NSFW!

You can find an ecard for any occassion. Here is a selection of ecards to let someone know you may have given them a sexually-transmitted disease. (via the Presurfer)

Toons are for kids? Check this compilation of jiggling anime breasts. And you thought you didn’t like Japanese cartoons!

Get ready to blush. You’ve been warned. Its a report from the 3rd China International Adult Toys & Reproductive Health Exhibition, in three parts. The Shanghaiist has a slideshow!

The Original Wonderous Vulva Puppets.

Thought for today: Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. (lifted from Hoss)

PS for the usual suspects: My blogiversary is coming up next week. If you want to send a “testimonial”, or a “roast” for the occasion, email me or leave something in the comments. Thanks!

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