Hooboy, are there a lot of insects out this time of year! And spiders ready to feed on them. I don’t mind spiders... in the garden. They have a tendency to frighten the children in the house. I HATE insects in the house. I battle drosophilia melanoganser, fruit flies, gnats, whatever you call them while I try to process the bounty of the garden. With kids who think they can cook but can’t clean up, I see ants where they aren’t supposed to be. And Gothgrrl brings in jars full of bugs from outside... praying mantises, butterflies, beetles, and all kinds of things I can’t identify. Take it back out! NOW!

Note: I am well aware that spiders are not insects, they are arachnids, but I am including them here anyway. So there!

Flies trained for the circus! (via Neatorama)


Is this fly drunk, or is he breakdancing?

The Fly Swat Game was pretty good, but eventually I just wanted to clean up the table.

Ant Tracks is a cool game where you must guide your insects to the proper food by building bridges and pathways. Nice animation.

The exotic spiders of Vietnam.

The Boid Ant Simulator is fun to watch, but also explains how ants think. (via the Presurfer)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

THE GRASSHOPPER

A grasshopper walks into a saloon. The bartender stares in amazement as the grasshopper says, "I'd like a drink, please."

The bartender's jaw drops. He's finally able to say, "Did you know we have a drink named after you?"

The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Irving?"

THE NEW PET

This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box: "For pete's sake, I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."

The Praying Mantis Syndrome

Many lower life forms demonstrate qualities that, at first, don't seem very good for survival. For instance, the female praying mantis, after mating with, well, her mate, will devour him. For the male praying mantis, however, it is a catch-22. If he mates, he gets screwed out of an opportunity to mate again. If he doesn't mate, he doesn't reproduce and that is the end of his family tree (not that all insects live in trees, mind you). This suicidal behavior is commonly called the Praying Mantis Syndrome - and many life forms are periodically subject to it's wrath. How did the praying mantis become stuck in such a vicious cycle? This is probably what happened beforehand:

The male mantis arrives at the residence of the female mantis. After some courtship exercises (dinner, a movie, inserting the diaphragm) they mate. The female mantis, her lust for...lust being satisfied relaxes while the Male raids the refrigerator and returns home. This behavior continues until the male and female (mantissas?) establish a permanent relationship. Then the male establishes a new pattern of behavior: Football on Mondays, baseball on Tuesdays, happy hour on Wednesdays, Uh, working-late-at-the-office on Thursdays, and bowling on Fridays. The female tolerates this to a certain extent, then files for a divorce. After a long battle, she retires to her alimony-paid home with a lesson well learned: It simplifies matters tremendously to just eat him when you're done with him.

Well, through the process of evolution, the Praying Mantis Syndrome is carried up into the highest life forms, even humans. That is why, one week out of every month, the female of the species will feel compelled to bite the head off the male. The Praying Mantis Syndrome is inescapable, but when it occurs in the female of our species, it's best to just avoid them for a while.

Thought for today: People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito.

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