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Dog Humor

dogransom.jpgMy neighbors on one side have several dogs on chains. That side of the yard smells like a zoo. They have one dog, who was born there last year, who gathers trash and other things left outside all over the nighborhood and decorates my yard and forest with it. He was the one who dismembered all the Barbies I had threatened to throw away. My mistake was leaving them on the porch. And he sat on all my corn stalks. The neighbors on the other side have a tiny little yapping dog who can go on for hours straight right outside my window. The problem is that these two dogs are best friends, and they meet daily in MY YARD.

But I love dogs. I just prefer well-behaved dogs. Today we are going to see some dogs who behave in ways you won’t even believe!doglassie.jpg

Skunkfeathers on The Dog.

Hey, puppy! Put on your best smile for the camera! (via Arbroath)

The world’s finest dog house.

Doggie Suicide, a tale (tail?) of love, betrayal, and danger.

Marti has some more dog jokes.

Watch this dog play Simon Says! (via Arbroath)


These really smart dogs can escape anything!


Can you tell the mutts from the “designer dogs”? Take the test!

Vote for your favorite dog (or cat) at Pikapet. Or you can submit YOUR dog! (via Yesbutnobutyes)

Great Babysitter Dane, the tickle-monster.

Skateboarding dog. (via Arbroath)

Bornfool has an old dog joke.

It doesn’t matter that the text is in Japanese... its a photoblog of crazy dog pictures!

Don’t try to take a dog’s beer away!


New Dog Crossbreedsdogcattoon.gif

(lifted from Wulfweard)

Collie + Lhasa Apso=Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Spitz + Chow Chow=Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Pointer + Setter=Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund=Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso=Peekasso, an abstract dog

Labrador + Curly Coated Retriever=Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound=Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog=Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador=Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer=Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute=Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier=Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

dogspeak.jpg THE TALKING DOG

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scount. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?"

"Roof!" the dog replies.

"Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’."

"No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?"

"Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience.

"No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?"

"Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scount, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.

And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

Previously on Miss Cellania: Dogs

dogmagnets.gif


Thought for today: I love dogs. They live in the moment and don't care about anything except affection and food. They're loyal and happy. Humans are just too damn complicated. -David Duchovny


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Posted on Friday, 07.28.06 @ 12:04AM by Registered CommenterMiss Cellania in | Comments15 Comments

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Reader Comments (15)

Woof...and you got a mention in my latest as well ;-)
07.28.06 @ 06:21AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
The Simon Says dog was a hoot! Smart dog. It's amazing how dogs can find ways to escape too, they pay attention to more than we think.

Oh, the nerve of you leaving the barbie in your yard! ;-) I don't know why people don't have respect for their neighbors and aren't more responsible with their pets.

Have a fantastic trip!
07.28.06 @ 08:13AM | Unregistered CommenterKaren
Good post, I love dogs, have a good trip.
07.28.06 @ 09:21AM | Unregistered CommenterPeter
Simon says laugh. Very funny this morning. Thanks.
07.28.06 @ 10:17AM | Unregistered Commentered bremson
Rednecks, huh? In Kentucky? I will alert the media...
07.28.06 @ 11:35AM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Yup. They wake up in a brand new world every day!
07.28.06 @ 11:37AM | Unregistered CommenterPenny
Simon Says it was hilarious!
07.28.06 @ 12:49PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
I don't care about anything but food and affection either.

Does that make me a dog ?
07.28.06 @ 01:37PM | Unregistered CommenterOldGuy
Great post..That was fun!
Have a wonderful day..
huggles
07.28.06 @ 03:22PM | Unregistered CommenterRaggedy
Ms. C. ~ I know Wulfweard gets the credit, but those new dog names were funny! ~ (Where's my MISS C. sign?) ~ jb///
07.28.06 @ 04:41PM | Unregistered CommenterLAZY
I have had 3 dogs and I am not a dog person hmmmm
It all started when I stole the Mayors dog.
I liked him so much I kept hom for 18 years LOL
He was a pure breed Keeshound and I had a Malamute at the same time.
Poor couches
I prefer cats though That way I get all the milk bones to myself.
Why don't people keep the dog on lieases instead of letting them run free.
Here they would get a hefty fine.

Great post
Have a nice weekend
07.28.06 @ 07:54PM | Unregistered Commenterwalker
I got Simon Says in my email today..priceless. I'm a dawg lover from waaaaaaaaaaay back. My two sleep with me :)
07.28.06 @ 08:27PM | Unregistered Commenterpoopie
Miss C... Just curious. How long does it take you to compile your amazing posts?

You continue to awe me.

wowser bowsers.
cheers.
07.28.06 @ 09:13PM | Unregistered CommenterMotherPie
MotherPie, I spend months on each entry. Really! I'm slowly collecting material on dozens of subjects at a time. After I have what I need, it only takes a few minutes to throw it together.
07.29.06 @ 05:04AM | Registered CommenterMiss Cellania
Loved the dog videos!! Especially the Simon Says one!! Cute!!
07.29.06 @ 11:35AM | Unregistered CommenterRachel

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