Chickens
Saturday, 07.22.06 @ 12:09AM 
Its a pet! Its dinner! Its a pet who becomes dinner! Not only that, chickens give us those delicious cholesterol-laden eggs we enjoy so much for breakfast. I used to mix Cheese Whiz™ with scrambled eggs to get my kids to eat them. Pretty soon, I figured it would be better food with less mess if I made omelets. So for years I delivered perfect fluffy omelets with a variety of cheeses for my children. Then about a month ago, they came home from my mother’s house and told me about this wonderous dish grandma created for them called “scrambled eggs”. They were amazed that I knew how to make them also! Now I am limiting the family to a dozen eggs a week, or else they’d eat nothing but. Our restaurant habit adds to the chicken consumption: 1. Our favorite Indian restaurants won’t serve beef or pork, for obvious reasons. b. There’s a world-famous chicken restaurant/museum combination in our town. 3. Happy Meals™ are so darn convenient.
But before there was the Happy Meal™, there was a living, breathing bird. Those birds are in the spotlight today!
Great philosophers answer the question “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Mail Order Chickens, a site for people who love chickens.
Chicken girl video. Be ready to leave quickly.
Play this Chicken Game and find out how difficult it is to catch a chicken for supper!
This chicken video may be “art”, but its not for the squeamish. (Thanks, Bill!)
REDNECKS
Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."
"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"
"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."
The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"
THE SIGN
A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.”
“What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff.
“I don’t care, just do something about those drivers.” So the next day he had the county go out and put up a sign that said:
SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING.
Three days later the farmer called the sheriff and said, “You’ve got to do something about these drivers. The ’school crossing’ sign seems to make them go faster.” So, again, the sheriff sends out the county and they put up a new sign:
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.
And that really sped them up. So the farmer called and called and called everyday for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, “Your signs are doing no good. Is it all right for me to put up my own damned sign?”
The sheriff told him, “Hell, yes, put up your own sign.” He was going to let the farmer do just about anything in order to have him stop calling. Well, the sheriff got no more calls from the farmer.
Three weeks after the farmer’s last call, the sheriff decided to call him. “How’s the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?”
“Oh, hell yes. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I’ve got to go. I’m very busy.” And he hung up the phone.
The sheriff though to himself, “I’d better go to that farmer’s house and look at that sign… There might be something there that WE could use to slow down drivers…”
So the sheriff drove out to the farmer’s house, and he saw the sign. It was a whole sheet of plywood. And written in large yellow letters were the words:
SLOW: NUDIST COLONY.
THE STOLEN COCK
The priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the cock went missing! The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.
During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"
Half the women stood up.
"No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?"
All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
Thought for today: A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
humor jokes video funny games chicken hen cock poultry chick livestock 
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Reader Comments (14)
You're not really blonde? Prove it!
The chicken game movie is cute. That chicken dserves to eat that whole pile after all she went through.
My kids have always loved eggs. They used to ask for me to fix them with "runny oaks." They meant "runny yolks."
The chicken game movie is cute. That chicken dserves to eat that whole pile after all she went through.
My kids have always loved eggs. They used to ask for me to fix them with "runny oaks." They meant "runny yolks."
And why nothing about Mike the Headless Chicken?
Just doing my part to be a nuisance >B^D
Good Post!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one