Miss Cellania

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Overheard

And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

Gifts

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« Alcohol | Main | Real Estate »
Tuesday
27Jun2006

Bicycle

mcbikegraffiti.jpg“Its just like riding a bicycle!” they say. So what does that mean? Does it mean you never were good at it, and you’ll never be good at it? Does it mean the memories of all those skinned knees will come back as soon as you try it? Yeah, when I was a kid, I THOUGHT I was a good bike rider. Spent a lot of time doing it. But I had more than my share of skinned knees and skinned everything else. I got my first bike when I was 6. Dad immediately took the training wheels off, and pushed me down the street. It was a gravel surface, and I of course fell, injuring myself and setting the stage for my future bike escapades.

That first bike was stolen from my front porch. To replace it, I saved my allowance for a YEAR, all the time hoping no one else would buy that purple spider bike with the banana seat in the window at Western Auto hardware. It was $62. The day I purchased it was the happiest of my life at that point. You can get a similar bike now for about half that much, but you can’t get it repaired anywhere. Thanks, Wal*Mart.

Here’s some music to set the mood.

The origins of the bicycle.

The video that inspired this entire post involves a drunk man in Russia trying to ride a bicycle with missing front wheel.

Large men on small bikes. The San Francisco Big Wheel Races.

Bicycle Ride, a video in honor of Albert Hoffman, the discoverer of LSD.

The World Naked Bike Ride 2006 was recently held in Portland, Oregon. Video of the event can be found here. Duh, contains nudity.

Bike crashes on video.

Can you believe a bike driven by seven people at once?

Neatorama tells us about this wooden bike, and this wooden bike, and a bunch of cool bikes.

INTERSTATE HIGHWAYbikeaccessories.gif

It had been a quiet night at the local bar so far, but then the door was thrown open and an Interstate highway strode in.

"I'm an Inter- state highway," he declared. "I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I'm the best of the highways, and I'm afraid of no highway and no road." He then strode up to the bar, ordered a beer, and began drinking it, while looking around.

A short time later, a four-lane highway came in, went to the end of the bar, and ordered a beer. The Interstate looked him over and walked over to him. "I'm an Interstate highway," he declared. "I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I'm the best of the highways, and I'm not afraid of you."

The four-lane highway said "I agree that you're the best. I don't want any trouble with you. Let me buy you a beer", and he did. They drank their beers and discussed their engineering specifications.

After a half hour, the door opened again and a two-lane road came in, went to the other end of the bar, and ordered a beer.
The Interstate looked him over and told the four-lane highway that he had to take care of the new arrival. He walked over to the two-lane road and said "I'm an Interstate highway. I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I'm the best of the highways, and I'm not afraid of you."

The two-lane road quivered a bit and said "You're absolutely right. You are the best of the highways. I'm just a lowly two-lane road. I don't want any trouble. Can I buy beers for you and the four-lane highway?"

bikehell.gifThe Interstate motioned the four-lane highway to come over, the two-lane road bought beers for each of them, and the three of them drank their beers and discussed the merits of various paving materials.

After another half hour, the door opened again and a strip of asphalt about eight feet wide came in. The Interstate highway ducked behind the bar and hid there quivering quietly. The bartender was shocked.

After serving the asphalt strip, he walked over to where the Interstate was hiding. "I watched you stand up to the four-lane highway and the two-lane road. You said you weren't afraid of any highway or road. Why are you hiding from that little asphalt strip?"

The Interstate replied quietly, "It's true that I'm not afraid of any highway or road, but he's a cycle path."

bikepoem.gif

Bicycle dancing.. think it will catch on? (via Arbroath)

This weird little bicycle game

involves riding a bike and not hitting the teddy bears.

One Got Fat: Bicycle Safety (1963)

Learn all about unicycling.

PAgent has tips on learning to ride a recumbent bike.

bikenooo.jpg

NERD

A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?" The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"

The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

scubabike.jpg



Thought for today: A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
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Reader Comments (14)

An award winning post, Interstate Highway is awarded the worst joke ever award.
06.27.06 @ 06:49AM | Unregistered CommenterPeter
LOL at cycle path! Great post! Thanks!
06.27.06 @ 08:16AM | Unregistered CommenterRaggedy
A cycle path. Thanks...I needed that as I go to the therapist this morning!
06.27.06 @ 10:40AM | Unregistered Commenterjules
Oh, Miss C! How can you do an item on bikes and miss this?

http://www.shooshtime.com/pics/images/76d978ce3dd59dbd75e76f4c4afc7c9bUnderwater.jpg
06.27.06 @ 11:13AM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Is that you?
06.27.06 @ 11:16AM | Registered CommenterMiss Cellania
"Cycle-path" Ha, ha, ha! Good one!
06.27.06 @ 11:17AM | Unregistered CommenterPenny
Something we all can relate to, but I have two thoughts:
1)with urban growth, bicycling is not the same now as it was when I was growing up and could ride anywhere for miles and miles, safely. Parkour is a new sport growing up for kids in a concrete environment (invented by the non-sporty philosophical French, mais oui).
2)kids today are learning to ride bikes but many are not learning how to tie shoes (velcro) and tell time (digital).

Some things stay the same, others change. Never dull.
Cheers.
06.27.06 @ 12:07PM | Unregistered CommenterH.A.Page
The Interstate Highway cracked me up.

The bike poem is a classic, I used to have a shirt with the one line on it. LOL

Thanks for the giggles.
06.27.06 @ 12:24PM | Unregistered CommenterKaren
You saved your allowance and bought your own bike! Wow, I'm impressed. (I didn't have an allowance as a kid, so I'm doubly impressed.) I wonder how many kids today would do what you did? Not many, I bet.

Loved Carl's contribution today. Later.
06.27.06 @ 02:11PM | Unregistered CommenterEd Bremson
There was a time when "like learning to ride a bicycle" suggested "once you learn it, you never forget how".

After the advent of the banana seat -- and a few years after I'd expanded in key positions, physically -- it came to mean something different.

Now, "like learning to ride a bicycle" suggests that it carries the threat of giving one wedgies...
06.27.06 @ 02:47PM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
Ms. C. ~ Ya know... I always get a KICK out of your blog, but I think the most creative thing you do, is the way you tie your self promoting Miss Cellania SIGNS into your posts. I especially love this one with the graffiti and the bike. GREAT JOB once again! ~ jb///
06.27.06 @ 04:39PM | Unregistered CommenterLAZY
Hell on wheels -- the early years. Ho ho har de har har...

Good one, Missy.
06.27.06 @ 06:04PM | Unregistered CommenterOld Horsetail Snake
I forwarded this post to my sister-in-law who is a rabid bicyclist. I especially enjoyed the Nerd story. You can "see" that happening in your mind in one of the Nerd movies.
06.27.06 @ 10:44PM | Unregistered CommenterDick
Me?

No, I'd never willfully destroy the environment like that jackass is...
06.28.06 @ 11:48AM | Unregistered Commenteractor212

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