My younger daughter, who I’ve been calling Gothgrrl, is an elephant collector. She’s an elephant FREAK. Anyone who gives her a gift tries to make it elephant-shaped. She has a herd of elephants, many of which are in bed with her at night. She has named most of them. We started with Dumbo. Then she got a bigger elephant, so that was Jumbo. After that it got out of hand. I suggested some elephant names, like Tantor, Hathi, Babar, and Horton, but NOOO! She has to give them all rhyming names, like Jimbo, Sambo, Combo, Dingo, Pumbo, Bingo, etc etc. She also has elephant posters, and an Indian elephant tapestry on her bed. If that’s not enough, she will draw an elephant and tape it to the wall. I guess everyone needs a hobby!

My hobby is collecting links, so here’s some elephant sites for you.

1937 cartoon Pink Elephants. Its 12MB, so it will take some time to load. Worth it if you are into vintage animation.

Pink Elephants on Parade (17mb), remixed with music by Sun Ra (via Boingboing)

To the right is a photo of an Elephant wedding staged by the Cole Brothers Circus, September 23rd, 1936.  More pictures can be found at the Sideshow World Gallery.

Slideshow of Ringling Brothers elephants on parade in New York City.

Try the game Elephant Jumper.

Don’t tease an elephant!

Don’t be an idiot

Giant Robot Elephant in London! A video with enchanting music.

THE RESTAURANT

A guy goes into a restaurant and asks for a menu, but the waiter tells him, "We don't have menus here. Our chef can make any dish you desire … in fact, if he can't, we'll give you one thousand dollars."

The man sees a chance to make some money so he thinks of something impossible. "Bring me an order of hummingbird tongues on rye toast," he tells the waiter, who returns fairly quickly with a plate. "One order of hummingbird tongues on rye toast. Will there be anything else?"

The man thinks for a second, then says, "I'd like a bowl of lo mein made with rutabaga-flavored noodles that were imported from Bolivia by Paul Newman, accompanied by a croissant with exactly 429 caraway seeds and served on aquamarine-colored bone china from the Yuan Dynasty." The waiter returns in a few minutes with a bowl. "One number eight. Will there be anything else?"

The man thinks another second, then says, "Yes … bring me an elephant ear sandwich." The waiter says disappears into the kitchen and returns with a thousand dollars in cash. "You did it, sir. You beat us." With a broad smile, the man pockets the money. "Didn't have any elephant ears back there, huh?" "Oh no," the waiter says. "We have plenty of elephant ears. WE just ran out of the big rolls."

 THE PIANO

(lifted from Hoss)

An elephant goes into a piano bar and orders a drink. The piano player starts playing a slow-tempo blues song. The elephant breaks into giant tears.
"What's the matter, Old Soak?" asks the piano player. "Don't you like the blues?"
"Oh, it isn't that," says the elephant. "It's just that I recognize some of the keys."

ELEPHANT TOONS

(click to enlarge) 

GOOD GUESS

Bessie, 80-years-old, bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

 Thought for today: I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajames, I'll never know. -Groucho Marx

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