Links of the Week
Between the last week of school, the annual dance recital (photos at left), end-of-school parties, planting season, Gothgrrl’s birthday party, and cleaning up after the yard sale, its been a really hectic week. I am trying desperately to get all my kid’s toys, books, and clothing either thrown away or given away before summer break. Less stuff, less mess. At least thats the theory I want to try out.
Coming up Wednesday, its the end of the month, and my health insurance will be gone. More importantly, it will be my turn to host the Carnival of Crazy! Therefore, my “Best of May” post will be up Tuesday. If you want to submit a link (as long as its “crazy”), just email me. I volunteered for this because I need some publicity for the new site.
This is really strange. Eerie, even. A duck X-ray with an alien image in it. Who x-rays a duck? (via Arbroath)
Not a new story, but a new website makes it more accessible. Its the Exploding Whale Website!
Who said streaking was passe? Check out this news report.
We need a cartoon. How about Superman and Seinfeld installing a DVD player?
THE DONKEY RAFFLE
(lifted from Wulfweard)
A young hillbilly named Kenny, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "well, then, just give me my money back."
The Farmer said, "can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey."
The farmer asked, "what ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "you can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny said, "sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "what happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998"
The farmer said, "didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny said, "just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Kenny eventually became the chairman of Enron.
Mooner Boy is showing off his assets all over the world! I notice that in the US, and even more so in Canada, the crowd wants to get in on the act.
Another reason to reach for the sleeping pills.
Blue Sharpie
Element: Water
Sense: Sound
Gemstone: Sapphire
Some Qualities: Trustworthy, Calm, IndependentFact: Sapphires are considered antidepressants. Also, blue is considered to be a calming color
Take this quiz!
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Kipinger’s list of the Best Places to Live. (Thanks, Ed!)
Al Gore’s new movie is called An Inconvenient Truth. See the trailer here. Not only an important subject, but also a beautiful video. (Thanks, Carl!)
Zoom zoom zoom, see how cool this is! Show the kids!
Someone wrote a poem in honor of the Useless Men over at Useless Advice. Its a useless poem!
Actual Newspaper Ads
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little bitch. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
FREE PUPPIES: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD: 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat … Been out a while. Better be a reward for this nasty little thing.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED: Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300: Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE: Call Linda.
(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything!!!
Remember Steve Martin as the Great Flyndini and his amazing crotch?
Stone Golem: Sure to be a hit at Halloween!
Armageddon or Not? is a quiz where you rate various items and stories on whether they are a sign of the Apocalypse or not.
Terribly useless items! If there were a holiday coming up, I’d say this is a Bad Gift List. Its called Things you Don’t Need, and thats the truth!
Another penguin movie is on the way, and this time, they dance! See the trailers to Happy Feet.
THE SHOE STORE
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.
"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at
the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.
"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."
My friend Beth down in Louisiana found the perfect plans for the rebuilding of New Orleans.>>>>
Thought for today: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
humor jokes video funny games links
Miss Cellania
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Reader Comments (6)
Your links are nice...
Cheers...
Aqua Sharpie
Element: Air
Sense: Sight
Gemstone: Aquamarine
Some Qualities: Motivated and Self-Expressive Fact: Legend says that sailors wore aquamarine gemstones to keep them safe and prevent seasickness
We just came back from MY daughter's ballet recital! Yours are precious!
I loved the dead donkey joke. :D
Hoss, I reckon I'll put that on the Best of May post, with your endorsement!
H.A, I may have to wait for the video, but I WILL see it!
Saur and Desiree, thanks so much! The photos are from rehearsal. The recital was tonight, and they both did smashingly well.