Miss Cellania

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Overheard

And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Star Trek: The Next Post | Main | Linkomatic »
Thursday
20Apr2006

Kentucky


Alex over at Neatorama wrote a piece entitled Four Neat Things about Los Angeles. Its a "meme". Then tagged me (I'm not worthy!) to write Four Neat Things about my hometown. I had to think about that. My town is SO small (chorus: how small is it?) that 1. if I wrote about it, I would lose the very last shred of anonymity I have left, and b. I can only think of two neat things about it that would interest you. So I am expanding my theme (or meme) to include all of Kentucky. After all, Alex changed the meme somewhat; I can too! And since my entire state has about half as many people as the city of Los Angeles, it doesn't seem too much like cheating. BTW, if Neatorama calls it "Neat Things about My Hometown", maybe I should call this "Miss Cellaneous Things.. "? Naw, that's just dumb. Can't have any of that here! I will include some jokes for those who would expect such.
Pictured here are Princess and Gothgrrl acting like tourists. I'm sure you can figure out which one is which from the poses.

4 Neat Things Kentucky is Famous For
1. Kentucky Fried Chicken
2. The Kentucky Derby
3. Mammoth Cave (pictured here>)
4. Fort Knox

Ten Horses Least Likely To Win the Kentucky Derby
10. Future Glue
9. Senor Sleepy
8. Parts On Order
7. Tax Write-Off
6. Two Fat Guys In a Horse Costume
5. Pothole Dancer
4. 2-Legged Pierre
3. Ebola
2. Kevorkian's Delight
1. CBS

4 Neat Kentuckians You Don't Know
1. Floyd Collins, cave exploring legend.
2. Edgar Cayce, mystical healer.
3. Randolph McCoy, the REAL McCoy.
4. Henry Earl, the Lexington town drunk.

4 Neat and Beautiful Places
1. Cumberland Falls
2. Cumberland Gap
2. Pine Mountain
4. Red River Gorge


4 Neat Pieces of Eye Candy Born in Kentucky



1. George Clooney
2. Johnny Depp
3. Ashley Judd
4. Billy Ray Cyrus













4 Neat Kentucky Sports Figures
A state which has no major professional teams in football, basketball, baseball, or hockey nevertheless has some legends. You just never think about them.

1. Muhammad Ali, former world heavyweight boxing champ, known as "The Greatest".
2. Secretariat, 1973 Triple Crown Winner.
3. UK basketball program, seven-time NCAA champions with a loyal and fanatical following.
4. Jenny Hansen, NCAA gymnast of the century.

The Math Lesson
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

You gotta love those Kentucky women.

4 Kentucky Products
Our economy is based on the premise: "We don't care what's good for you, we only care whether you want to buy it."
1. Bourbon
2. Marijuana
3. Tobacco
4. Coal

The Mirror
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy."

He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife, Lizzy, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with."

Other sites responding to the tag:
Stuff on Fire did Cincinnati.
Scribal Terror also did Cincinnati.
The Presurfer did Tilburg, in the Netherlands.
Now I reckon I'm supposed to tag other folks. OK, lets keep it casual. If you are on my blogroll, you are tagged. So how easy that was? If you're not and want to participate anyway, go ahead! Let me know about it, so I can read about your hometown.

Thought for today: Kentucky, five million people, fifteen last names.

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Reader Comments (22)

The only times I went back east were to Cincinnati. There was a comedian in a local bar named Kevin who really dissed the hillbillies from Kentucky. But I remember flying into their airport, which is in Kentucky, and seeing the dirty gray city on one side of the river and the beautiful green on the other side. I know in which place I would rather live!
04.20.06 @ 01:40AM | Unregistered CommenterDick
This is fantastic, Miss C!
04.20.06 @ 01:55AM | Unregistered Commenterneatorama
1. I have done two columns regarding this particular notion (and have a copy of that 'travel back in time' ad, somewhere; I sent the guy a snail mail to the stated addy, but never got a reply. Guess I missed him...or he ain't received the letter yet... *snort*). Trust me when I tell you: neither worked.

2. Interestin' Kentucky factoid ;-) I'd do up one for Colorado, but I'm not a native; so I'd have to do mine on Iowa. And you can get non-prescription sleep aids at the drug store, which are easier than reading my blog...


'Skunk'
04.20.06 @ 05:18AM | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous
And the Kentucky State Insect?

Stinkbug (according to me).
04.20.06 @ 05:58AM | Unregistered CommenterOldHorsetailSnake
Miss C!

I'm shocked, SHOCKED, I say, to find that Kentucky Woman isn't the state song and that Kentucky Bourbon didn't make your list!
04.20.06 @ 11:13AM | Unregistered CommenterCarl
Johnny Depp born in Kentucky? Wow! Very good job on that one!
04.20.06 @ 11:49AM | Unregistered CommenterHeather
Woohoo, Johnny! ;-) He does Kentucky proud...

Beautiful places there too.
04.20.06 @ 12:20PM | Unregistered CommenterKaren
Your stories of Kentucky girls got me convinced!

I have to book trip there... now!
04.20.06 @ 12:51PM | Unregistered Commenterrockyjay
Somehow, Billy Ray just doesn't fit into that list... :)
04.20.06 @ 01:48PM | Unregistered CommenterBonanza Jellybean
I picked this one up and ran with it here. As it happens, I'm currently working on the newspaper's tourism guide for the area, so I was already thinking along these lines.

You make Kentucky sound appealing for reasons besides the fact that it contains you!
04.20.06 @ 03:00PM | Unregistered CommenterJoel
MC, I worry about you every time I watch the weather report. I hope you're avoiding those storms they keep talking about, and that you are staying safe and dry in Kentucky.
04.20.06 @ 07:14PM | Unregistered CommenterEd Bremson
Dick, I, too, would rather hang with hillbillies than with mean people.

Alex, thanks!

Skunk, I've never found anything you've written to be boring.

Hoss, I would suggest gnats. They are everywhere! The stink comes from elsewhere.

Carl, Bourbon is right there in the KY Products list. And Kentucky Woman SHOULD be the state song!

Heather, Karen, and BJ, I concur. I had a list of two, but its supposed to be four, so I added Ashley for the guys, and Billy Ray is NOT ugly. Not in George or Johnny's league, but he's OK.

RockyJay, come on up! You'd have a great time.

Joel. i reallu enjoyed your post.

Ed, its downpouring here, but that's typical. Its monsoon season. Storms don't bother me, its just more work when I'm on the air.
04.20.06 @ 07:33PM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Cellania
I've never been to Kentucky, but Johnny Depp just might convince me to make the trip... :)
04.20.06 @ 08:53PM | Unregistered CommenterMonique
And Kentucky Woman SHOULD be the state song!

Maybe so, although I inexplicably think of Elvis' "Cold Kentucky Rain."
04.20.06 @ 08:55PM | Unregistered CommenterJoel
LOL! This was great. I know who Cayce is and Johnny Depp is HOT!
04.20.06 @ 09:02PM | Unregistered CommenterNancy
Monique, alas, he doesn't live here now, but he visits family on a rare occasion. George comes back often!

Joel, me too! But the Neil Diamond song is less depressing.

Nancy, you betcha! The interesting list folks are all dead, except Henry, who is in jail. The eye candy folks are all alive and WELL.
04.20.06 @ 10:43PM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Cellania
Good stuff! I'm afraid to challenge the monkey - I may embarrass myself. Loved all the jokes! And thanks for that picture of Johnny Depp.
04.21.06 @ 07:49AM | Unregistered CommenterIvy the Goober
Great blog! From one Kentucky gal to another. Unfortunetly, I don't get to live there any more and am stuck in IN. You forgot to mention that Tom Cruise is also homegrown.
04.22.06 @ 03:58PM | Unregistered Commentermary
P.S....my daughter waited on Johnny and family when he returned to Lex for Halloween several years ago. He was very nice and very down to earth...so she says. Oh, and very drop dead georgous. His Mom lives in the Chevy Chase area.
04.22.06 @ 04:00PM | Unregistered Commentermary
Ivy, if I'd known it would be that popular, I could come up with 100 photos of Johnny Depp. Mmmm, that may be an idea!

Mary, I didn't include Tom Cruise because he wasn't born in KY, although he did go to high school here. And because he's a nutjob. I'm sorry you are stuck in Inidiana!
04.22.06 @ 10:44PM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Cellania
Very nice! I found a place where you can
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04.27.06 @ 01:48AM | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous
""So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with.""

I thought she was going to find that he was cheating with her sister.
03.15.08 @ 02:41AM | Unregistered CommenterSaskboy

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