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« The Cat's Christmas | Main | Sci-Fi Christmas »
Friday
Dec082006

Dumb Blondes

blondethreat.jpgA blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

Hale McKay chronicles the adventures of Tiffany, a true blonde.

Now WHY did RockyJay include a link to my site when he wrote about dumb blondesblondeDr. Laura.png

The Dr. Laura Action Figure. She talks! AAAGH! (via Grow-A-Brain)

Blonde with Car Keys.

Blonde inventions.

There are blondes among the elderly, too! Two elderly women are recovering from heat stroke and heat exhaustion after locking themselves in a hot car in Daytona Beach. Police say their battery apparently died, the automatic locks failed, and they didn't know they could unlock the doors manually.

Blonde Sleepover.

How blondes got that reputation.

Peter has more blonde jokes.

And Penny has one, too.

A pregnant blonde moment!

MAIL

A man was in his front yard gardening when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘YOU'VE GOT MAIL.’"

Blonde at a Banquet (via Arbroath)

TRACKS

Two blondes are walking in the woods when they come across some tracks.

"Those are bear tracks," says the first blonde.

"No," says the second blonde, "those are deer tracks!"

And they were still arguing when the train hit them.SimpsonComment.png

 

Previously on Miss Cellania: Blondes and The Blonde Leading the Blonde

Thought for today: I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. -W. C. Fields

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Reader Comments (17)

This was wonderful! I always come to your site when I need uplifting and it never fails.

Now...a blonde REVENGE joke (us blondes have to stick together)...

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So brunettes can understand them.
12.08.06 @ 12:39PM | Unregistered CommenterMonica
I agree. I can always count on you to brighten my day, hon. Thank you for being so wonderful! Despite being a blonde, I LOVED the jokes! LOL!
12.08.06 @ 12:55PM | Unregistered CommenterMarti
The kinapping joke was super!
12.08.06 @ 02:31PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
I LOVED that first blonde joke. Very cute.
12.08.06 @ 03:13PM | Unregistered CommenterLBB
I was blonde once. I think. Anyway...what were we talking about?
12.08.06 @ 04:39PM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Dolly Parton had a great comment about the blonde debate:"I'm not dumb and I'm not blonde."
12.08.06 @ 05:34PM | Unregistered CommenterMamacita
Wow, this post brings back some unpleasant memories. Once I lived next to a hot blonde and all I did during the day was watch for her to come outside. Luckily now I have no neighbors in seeing distance.
12.08.06 @ 05:42PM | Unregistered CommenterSenor
One blonde to another..
Happy Holidays!

http://badaboo.free.fr/merryxmas.swf
12.08.06 @ 06:46PM | Unregistered CommenterLu
How did you overlook Blondestar?
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/35289/blondstar/
12.08.06 @ 10:23PM | Unregistered CommenterMikey
Mikey, this is my third post on Blondes. I believe Blondestar was in the first one, as well as Monica's joke and Mamacita's quote.
12.08.06 @ 10:36PM | Registered CommenterMiss Cellania
OMG, that Newlywed Game video was hilarious! I honestly think the dumb blonde thing is a ploy to get whatever they want. Blondes are far from dumb. They're just as cunning as brunettes.

Although I've seen some blondes take it a bit too far. Had me wondering there for a minute!
12.09.06 @ 11:19AM | Unregistered CommenterJacq
Those are good. It is nice that most blondes are big hearted enough that we can use them as the but of jokes.

Did you hear what the blonde said to her doctor when told that she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it is mine?"
12.09.06 @ 02:11PM | Unregistered CommenterDick
My dear, you can drive me drink any day. Of course, I would go by myself under most circumstances.
12.09.06 @ 04:35PM | Unregistered CommenterDave McLeod
Get that dumb blonde off your website. Not you, I meant Jessica Simpson.
12.09.06 @ 09:55PM | Unregistered CommenterAshley
Miss Cellania is too smart, she can not be a true blonde!
12.11.06 @ 06:41PM | Unregistered CommenterKeeper
good jokes hunny keep it up xoxoxox
07.30.07 @ 06:51PM | Unregistered Commentersophiee the blonde girl
FUCK YOU!!! you guys shouldnt make jokes about yourself thats pretty dumn and thats also why non-blondes make jokes about us. jsut lowering a lot of blondes (mostly girls)self-esteem...
05.14.08 @ 06:49PM | Unregistered Commenteralanna

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