Sci-Fi Christmas
Thursday, 12.07.06 @ 12:09AM 
There’s a Christmas party going on! Its been going on for days now, on the USS Enterprise. You can join in by going to Captain Picard’s Journal, whether just to read or leave a comment. It started with this post on Monday, and will last until the final guest is beamed off (most likely against their will). So many folks wanted to come, that the party was expanded to last an entire week! Those Trekkers know how to throw a party!
Christmas has always been part of the science fiction universe. And its a big universe! Lets take a look at the many ways sci-fi fans celebrate the holidays.
Hallmark has a full line of Star Trek (and Star Wars) Christmas tree ornaments.
Star Trek: A Christmas Story Drama. This is funny!
The 12 Days of Christmas, Star Trek style.
The Night Before Christmas: Star Trek Style. Version one. Version two. Version three. Version four. Its an easy poem to adapt.
“A Most Illogical Christmas” is included in this list of The 10 Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time.
The Star Wars Holiday Special aired once in 1978 and has since been reknowned as the worst Christmas special ever. A complete plot summary and review can be found here.
There is good entertainment, and then there is bad entertainment. Then there is the so-bad-that-it's-good zone, but the Star Wars Holiday Special occupies a hitherto undiscovered region on the spectrum. It is so bad that it saps one's will to live. It is a malignant hydra with the faces of those we know and love and a body of pure evil. Sections of the original film intercut with this lowband video mess serve only to remind you how far removed this TV 'special' is from the film in quality and budget. George Lucas has said he would like to see every copy of this show burned, but I think the original films would be better served if everyone could see this frightening example of what happens when the right characters fall into the wrong hands.
This special also spawned a record album (for you young uns, that would be a CD if it were released today). Christmas in the Stars: The Star Wars Christmas Album. You can listen to this album directly from this site. Why you would want to is anyone’s guess. In case you are completely insane, you can download it here.
The 12 Days of Star Wars Christmas
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Decorate your tree with this Darth Vader Christmas ornament! And hang a Darth Vader stocking by the fire! And you’ll certainly want to show your guests your Darth Vader Nutcracker!
But nothing beats a festive Darth Vader Musical Snowglobe, recently featured on eBay. Isn't that cute, he's building a Death Star out of snow! And there’s a Christmas Yoda Snowglobe, too!
DARTH AND LUKE
So, Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are sitting under the Christmas tree....
...and Darth says to Luke, "I. KNOW. WHAT YOU'RE. GETTING. FOR. CHRISTMAS." (works best if you put your hands over your mouth and deep breathe while you say it)
Luke says, "How do you know?
Darth says: "I. FELT. YOUR. PRESENTS."
MST3K: A Patrick Swayze Christmas
A Child’s Christmas in Space, MST3K style!
Enjoy exciting Christmas stories with Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman!
How the Grinch Annihilated Christmas
Whats a holiday without music? The HP Lovecraft Historical Society put out a collection of holiday tunes called A Very Scary Solstice. “a delightful yet hideous combining of over-commercialized holiday tunes and the unspeakable horrors of the Cthulhu Mythos.” The followup CD is called An Even Scarier Solstice. You can hear some of the son
gs on the site, including Blue Solstice. Other songs include:
Oh Cthulhu Chorus
Do You Fear What I Fear?
Awake Ye Scary Great Old Ones
I'm Dreaming of a Dead City
Cthulhu Lives
Tentacles
It's the Most Horrible Time of the Year
Have Yourself a Scary Little Solstice
And many more!
Read Penny Arcade’s webcomic The Last Christmas.
Order your Cthuhlhu Christmas stocking now!
Little Timmy Cthulhu's Christmas Miracle!
Did you know that there are Elder Things born without tentacles? It's TRUE. LITTLE LAME TIMMY CTHULHU was only born with three PSEUDOPODS! BUT a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE HAPPENED! LET Me tell you about how LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's childlike FAITH in Christmas and SHUB-NIGGURATH made a CHRISTMAS MIracle! It ALL started when LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's crutches broke! "THING-THAT-SPAWNED ME?" it asked "I know we don't have enough money to buy me a new crutch AND get me a puppy. But I really, really want a new puppy! I can limp to Elder God's school!"
LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's THING-THAT-SPAWNED-HIM wept. "OH! IF only someone could help us!" It cried, knowing that as a responsible THING-THAT-SPAWNED, it had no choice but to buy the crutches knowing that it would break at least two of LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU'S hearts.
That night, before oozing into it's sleeping nodule, LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU said his prayers "SHUB-NIGGURATH and SANTA, please bring me a new puppy for Christmas!" Meanwhile, out in the big city of Lost R'yleh, a puppy just happened to escape from the Pound! Many ELDER THINGS were chasing it, and it was scared and alone! It ran and ran, and where do you suppose it ran? That's right! Right through LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's open window! LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU was overjoyed!
"THING-THAT-SPAWNED ME! THING-THAT-SPAWNED ME!" It cried! "Look! Santa and SHUB-NIGGURATH heard my prayers and brought me a puppy!" And with that, LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU popped the puppy into it's gaping maw and crunched it up it three bites! Yummy! It was the BEST Christmas EVER!
That puppy COULDN'T have escaped from the pound on it's own, and even if it had, only the guiding pseudopod of SHUB-NIGGURATH could have guided the puppy straight into LITTLE TIMMY CHTULHU's gaping maw!
So remember, if you're down and out this Christmas, remember to have faith in SHUB-NIGGURATH and remember LITTLE TIMMY CTHULHU's Christmas Miracle! 
For serious Cthulhu fans, I found an expanded version of the above with songs!
Of course, there is a version of The Night Before Christmas, Cthulhu style.
Jack’s Gift is a wonderful new science fiction story about how robotic Santas took over Christmas and how Santanet really works.
Here’s one you’ve been waiting for! The Dr. Who Christmas Special, coming your way from the BBC!
See the movie Santa Claus Conquers the Martians in its entirety online.
Merry Christmas from your favorite movie characters!
Thought for today: Live long, prosper, and have a Merry Christmas. Make it so. And may the force be with you.
humor jokes video funny games science fiction Star Trek Star Wars Cthulhu MST3K Christmas holiday party
Reader Comments (9)
Why, that means Wookies are part of the War on Christmas!!!!!
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the card with Worf & Jadzia at the top!
I think Pia Zadora was an elf in that Santa vs. the Martians thing.
Even better than Nimoy doing Proud Mary!