My younger daughter is trying to follow in my footsteps (God help her). She gets on my computer and looks for dumb jokes. Here’s a math joke she got me with:

Q: How do you make seven even?

A: Take the “s” off.

It works a lot better orally than it does in type, I see. But she made me giggle. She is doomed to a life of starvation if she wants to be a comedian... I can attest to that. But if this sparks the tiniest interest in math for her, the future is looking brighter!

It occurred to me how weird it is to post math jokes when school is out on vacation. But school kids don’t read this site anyway... at least I hope they don’t! And since there is a possibility they will during this boring week-between-holidays, I posted this instead of a few racier possibilities.

This is a one hour video. But its the history of numbers, entitled The Story of 1, by Terry Jones of Monty Python fame. So you’ll want to watch it when you have the time. (via Ursi’s Blog)

Remember the Fractal Pecan Pie? Here’s another instructables geometry project using delicious pecan pie: The Modular Pie-Cosahedron. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Here’s a mathematical term you guys can get into, even if you don’t understand it (I don’t). (via Exploding Aardvark)

Serious story: This is how math should be taught. Twenty-three-year-old teacher Lisa Suben told her supervisors she was going to produce her own fifth-grade math curriculum. A year later, her students achieved the largest one-year math score jump ever seen at that school, from the 16th to the 77th percentile. (via Grow-A-Brain)

How would you have done on this geometry test?

Blind Date - Olde English Sketch Comedy (via Neatorama)

The Useless Men tackle math, with the results you would expect.

MATH DEFINITIONS

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo pi

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach turtle

2,000 pounds of Chinese Soup: won ton

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

2.4 miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite year

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 million aches: 1 megahurtz

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

Half of a large intestine: 1 semi colon

Time between slipping on a banana peel and striking pavement: 1 bananosecond

1 billion piccolos: 1 gigolo

1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 fig Newton

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 knot-furlong

Shortest distance between two jokes: a straight line

First step of the first mile of a thousand mile journey: 1 Milwaukee

DOG MATH

(Thanks, Phil!)
A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.

"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"

"40," replies the dog.

"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"

"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."

Previously on Miss Cellania: Math and Math Teacher

Thought for today: Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."  -Fran Lebowitz

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