Its been COLD here! Friday morning, 12 degrees. Saturday morning, 11 degrees. At least thats above zero. This badly-insulated house registered about 54 degrees in most of the rooms, even though the heater was working. I was selfishly glad the kids were out of school Friday. The school would've been warmer for them, but since they were home, I didn't feel guilty about keeping a fire going all day. Gothgrrl awoke that morning and said "I smell bacon!" No, honey, you smell hickory smoke. I’m thankful to have an electric blanket. And good kids. I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, my daughters presented me with a piece of paper. It said:

I had some spggittii and some hot tea. In bed. It was lovely. And made a mental note to work on their spelling strategies.

Voting is open at the 2006 Weblog Awards. You can vote once a day in each category. So go here and vote for Konagod for best New Blog. And then go here and vote for Jon Swift for Best Humor Blog.

Worst Burglar Ever

This shows only the highlights. If you prefer, you can also watch the full two and a half minute version with no music. I can just hear the jury laughing.

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime! I wish I had that before posting Sci-Fi Christmas. This ecard is part of the Jonathon Coulton Project.

Gizmodo tries to decipher the Japanese Wii safety instructions. There seems to be something lost in translation! (Thanks, Bill!)

CARPET

Joe was laying down carpet in some woman's home. As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette. Joe looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing. He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it there. Joe decided rather than to take up the carpet, he would get a hammer and pound it into the ground so no one would know. When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done.

"The carpet looks wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Here are your cigarettes; I found them in the kitchen. Oh yes, by the way, have you seen my hamster?"

You are going to enjoy this video! Tony vs. Paul.

Extreme Wheelchair. Awesome video. (via Arbroath)

It seems like someone has a bad case of the green-eyed monster. Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

This is where we keep the bloggers.

Lost Rhapsody 2: Electric Boogaloo, with music by Weird Al Yankovic, is pretty funny. I am assured that its even funnier to those who follow the TV show Lost, which I don’t. (via YesButNoButYes)

Ten Bad Things that are Good for You. Coffee, red wine, chocolate, and sex included. When I read this, the song that went through my head was “My Favorite Things.” (via Innings)

Sometimes you just want to slap someone. How about this guy? (via the Presurfer)

The whole point in the restaurant business is to avoid getting reviews like this.

The Hottest Animated Disney Women. My quibbles with this list: 1. There’s nothing at all wrong with Jasmine’s nose, and 2. Snow White is way underage.

Who wants to try the Limited Edition Elvis Peanut Butter & Banana Creme Reece’s Cup, from Hershey’s? I do!

Here’s how to order at the drive-through.

Find out what the government knows about you with the Super Spy-O-Matic. (Thanks, Bill!)

Cylinder recordings were the earliest audio recordings, from Edison’s first tinfoil recording in 1877 to  around 1929. The Cylinder Preservation and Digitalization Project at the University of California, Santa Barbara has a website featuring the history of cylinder recordings and thousands of dowloadable music and speech recordings from that period. You could put recordings that are over 100 years old on your iPod! (via Abandoned Stuff) OK, now here’s the punchline.

At a White House holiday reception, three women appeared wearing the same red dress! It was an $8500 Oscar de la Renta gown. But thats not the worst of it... First Lady Laura Bush also wore the same dress! Mrs. Bush did the diplomatic thing and went upstairs and changed, but not before an official holiday group photo was taken.

The postscript to the above story is almost as interesting. I saw the item at the J-Walk Blog, and thought it would be perfect for Neatorama. I needed one graphic of a certain size to show all four dresses. I usually don’t mess with graphics; that’s my brother’s job. But I went to work on this one, editing what was available from the TV news story. Later that day, the Neatorama item was Boingboinged, and my little amateur graphic edit job was copied and reused. All over the internet. I mean all over the world. And that's not nearly all of them.

The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards. They don’t mean the sex is bad, they mean it is written in a ghastly manner.

JUSTICE, BY GEORGE

George Phillips was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said  "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an armed response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Rapture Riders. A mashup for Baby Boomers.

Thought for today: If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer. -Yogi Berra

humor jokes video funny games