Safari
Tuesday, 11.21.06 @ 12:01AM 
If you are anywhere near my age, you might remember watching Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Marlin Perkins, the reknowned wildlife expert, would sit in the comfort of the TV studio and introduce his subordinate, Jim Fowler, who was out in the field wrestling crocodiles or something. That was some exciting TV! And it probably sparked whatever interest you have now in African wildlife. You can see some of those old episodes on the net, or tune into the new Wild Kingdom show on Animal Planet.
Animal Reviews rates each animal like you would a movie.
Amazing animal facts.
This video of meerkats made me sleepy.
Strange combinations of animal friends. The lion shall lay down with the lamb, and all that.
Jill Greenberg’s Monkey Portraits.
Lions in Kenya. Weird and cute. (via Mad Baggage)
Top Ten Animal Senses Human Don’t Have. (via Cynical C Blog)
How NOT to release a leopard into the wild.
Sing along with a hippo and a dog.
If this isn’t weird, I don’t know what is. Milk the Giraffe
game.
In Wildlife, artist Karolina Sobecka uses the city itself as her medium. At night projections from moving cars (driven by the San Jose Tiger Posse) are shone on the buildings downtown. Each car projects a video of a wild animal. The animal’s movements are programmed to correspond to the speed of the car: as the car moves, the animal runs along it speeding up and slowing down with the car, as the car stops, the animal stops also. Here's a video of this performance in action. (via Arbroath)
Puppy vs. Lion Cub. Very cute pictures. The first picture above is from this site. (via Ursi’s blog)
The Five Stages of Quicksand
Endangered Ugly Things. Sure, they're not cute. But they're at least as important as your fuzzy thing.
What beast are you in bed? Here is my result.
The Mother-In-Law
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
The Hungry Lion
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book. The other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
And now a word from our sponsor.
The Hippo
So one day, all of the animals came together and made the following deal: Each will tell a joke, and if everyone doesn't laugh at it then they would kill the joke teller. (I don't know why they did this... maybe they were hungry?)
So anyway, the Rabbit went first. The Rabbit told this great joke. All of the animals were laughing hysterically, rolling on the floor and slapping their knees (if they had knees). All that is except for the Hippopotamus.
So, what could they do... the Hippo did not laugh. They had to kill the Rabbit. After promptly doing so, they gave the next turn to the lion.
The Lion told a really dumb joke, that was not funny at all. All of the animals just sat there and stared, but the Hippo started laughing a tremendous laugh. The animals asked the Hippopotamus: "Why are you laughing? The Joke wasn't funny."
To which the Hippo replied: "Didn't you get the Rabbit's Joke?"
The Mouse And The Giraffe
A mouse was setting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of the bar. The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink. Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her another drink. After a third round, the bartender looked up and they were leaving the bar together.
The next day the mouse limped into the bar, barely crawled up on the barstool and sat there gasping for air. His whiskers were bent and broken, tail was crooked and patches of hair were falling out.
The bartender took one look and said, "How did it go last night?"
The mouse said, "Man, that was the best sex I ever had."
The bartender asked, "Why do you look so bad?"
The mouse replied, "Hey, between the kissing and the screwing I must have run 10 miles!"
Thought for today: Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. -W. C. Fields
humor jokes video funny games Africa wildlife safari jungle animals
Reader Comments (13)
I loved the mouse at the bar joke too!
Good stuff, but then again that's what we expect from the Queen of the Quaquaversial.
Why?
Some chimpanzee sitting in a tree holding up a John 3:16 sign, thinking he was at a Bronco game...
Marlon wasn't amused.
Happy Thanksgiving... what are you going to do for this holiday? Blog-wise.
What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but it doesn't have to with Mutual of Omaha..."
Strange combinations of animal friends: Again, HOW ADORABLE! I wonder what short circuits during times like these, that allows such mutual trust to arise? And can we bottle it?
Jill Greenberg’s Monkey Portraits: What? No George Bush?
The Quicksand Video: HYSTERICAL!!!
How NOT to release a leopard into the wild: Horrible! Thank goodness the zoo keeper made it alive!
Yes, Jim did all the dangerous stuff, but remember, Marlon was about 150 years old. He couldn't outrun a two-legged tortoise.
I'm soooooooo note worthy!