Miss Cellania

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And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

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« November 19 Links | Main | Coffee and Chocolate »
Saturday
18Nov2006

Drinking

drink1.jpgDISCLAIMER: This post does not advocate drinking. This post advocates laughing at the embarassing things people do when drunk! Personally, my drinking philosophy is what I've told my kids (to counteract the scare tactics they get at school and community programs in this recently dry area). Don't drink if you are an alcoholic (meaning if you can't limit yourself). Don't drink if you are going to drive. Don't drink if you are underage. If you drink alcohol, don't drink too much. Sure, there are other things they need to learn about it, but those are the very basics. Meanwhile, while we are sober and surfing the net, here's some of the many drinking jokes I've found.

You've had way too many, and I can't understand that slurring. Ok, that's clearer, but what do you MEAN? The
Dr
unktionary.

Steer the Drunk and the Hangover Game.drink12.jpg

Peeball.

Hold My Pint game. Don�t spill the beer!

How much DID you drink last night? The Blood-alcohol Calculator can tell you how drunk it made you.

Across the pond in Britain, they have all kinds of colorful terms for "drunk": Pist (as a fart), Rat Arsed, Bladdered, Pickled, Piddled, Trashed, Legless, Brahms and Liszt (cockney rhyming slang for 'pist'), sloshed, sodden, stewed, boozed, plastered, potted, smashed, soused, stinking, zonked, drunk as a skunk and three sheets to the wind. These are all idioms for being drunk in England. (Thanks, Prydwen!) I'll have to remember those for the next time I'm drunk in England. Here are lots more terms for drunkeness.

The Best DUI Ever! Ok, its from Reno 911, but its a hoot! (Thanks, April!)

Lots of humor can be found at Modern Drunkard Magazine.

Flaming shot video. Don't try this, at home or anywhere else.

How to drink vodka and stay sober.

Browse for new drink recipes.

You Are A Blueberry Martini

You are a eclectic drink - liking to change drinks
and venues often.
You are usually the first of your friends to find a
cool new dive bar or cocktail.

You should never: Drink mystery drinks strangers hand you. Unless you want to wind up in foreign country.

Your ideal party: Is mobile, hopping from party to party.

Your drinking soulmates: Those with an Orange Martini personality.

Your drinking rivals: Those with a Chocolate Martini personality.


I didn't even know martinis came in flavors. I thought they came in two flavors: vodka or gin.

DRUNK ABUSE

Video of the process of drunk abuse.

drink2.jpg





Do you really think the particleboard furniture will survive til morning?







drink3.jpg




The human dispenser.





drink4.jpg





Someone's gonna have to clean that couch. Probably the landlord, after the eviction.



drink5.jpg



Ready for lading on flight 303 to Tibet.






drink6.jpg


I have a sneaking suspicion there was Superglue unvolved.






drink7.jpg



This he did to himself.





drink8.jpg





Aaak! The furniture is growing LEGS!






drink9.jpg



The cops won't even have to draw an outline. One snore and its dominos time!




drink10.jpg

Next, the newspaper strips, and we'll have us a pinata!







drink11.jpg




And the winner is... Pirate Princess Pickle Bunny!





 

Previously on Miss Cellania: Hangover, Beer Technique, Alcohol, Beer, and Tequila Beach Party 

Thought for today: Starkle, starkle little twink, who da hell you are i think. I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am. Besides I've only had tee martoonies and all day sober to Sunday up in. I fool so feelish, i don't know whos me yet, but the drunker I sit here, the longer I get.

This post originally appeared on January 6, 2006.

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Reader Comments (13)

Hey! I can see my own blog today! I deleted Tuesday's post... well, I just banished it back a year into the archives. There may have been a bug or something in it. I can partially load SOME google blogs, so it may be a gradual restoration of service. I hope so! Now testing commments.

Still no word from Blogger help.
01.06.06 @ 09:28AM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Cellania
Peeball? LOL
01.07.06 @ 01:51AM | Unregistered CommenterFTS
Good arguments all to get drunk by ones' self ;-)
11.18.06 @ 05:32AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
I got my nails painted bright red once when I passed out about 10 years ago. They got everything but my right hand, which they couldn't get out from under my head! Stuff took forever to get off my fingers.
11.18.06 @ 07:59AM | Unregistered CommenterCarlos
There's a lesson in there somewhere, I'm sure
11.18.06 @ 10:30AM | Unregistered Commenterjules
AWESOME! This is one of the brief shiny moments when being a Mormon is SO worth it! I may not be able to enjoy a nice joint, but I'll never wake up with porcupine hair (my personal favorite!)

11.18.06 @ 11:48AM | Unregistered CommenterSarah
I LOVE pranks pulled out on drunk friends! They are so hilarious and remembered for years if not decades.

... and this one time, at the band camp, we put laxative to this guy's drink...
11.18.06 @ 12:30PM | Unregistered CommenterRockyJay
You got a beef with booze? Living in dry country must be hard on you....

Poor baby.
11.18.06 @ 12:46PM | Unregistered Commenterold horsetail snake
Geez, I hope that guy with the toothpicks doesn't roll over, ouch! We always did these types of tricks in high school on people (particularly if we were at a friends house and a bunch of guys were passed out). I didn't drink back then, so shaving cream and random household objects were my entertainment ... too bad they didn't have digital cameras back then!
11.18.06 @ 03:13PM | Unregistered CommenterAnita
One reason I never get pissed.....
11.18.06 @ 04:04PM | Unregistered CommenterPrydwen
Those photos demonstrate why it's a good idea to never get drunk.
It looks like stuffonmycat.com I wodner if stuffonmydrunk.com is registered...
11.18.06 @ 04:47PM | Unregistered CommenterSaskboy
There is some good stuff there for the temperance people to get hold of Miss C.
I shudder to think what the guy in the first photo felt like when he woke up.
11.18.06 @ 08:09PM | Unregistered CommenterPeter
Those were flippin hilarious!!!!! OMG. But isn't it funny how people seem to set themselves up for it. heh
11.19.06 @ 05:45PM | Unregistered CommenterJacq

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