Golf
Saturday, 10.28.06 @ 12:01AM 
I never got into golf much, even though I have my own clubs. My dad was a pro. He coached the local golf team. He even watched golf on TV, which for me is on par with Ambien. To each his own.
John at Romantic Ramblings attended a golf wedding!
Urban Golf uses streets for fairways, and buildings for obstacles, and the hole could be a fire hydrant.
50 reasons why golf is better than football or baseball.
The above is based on the idea that golf is a gentlemanly game. However, there are exceptions to every rule.
Golf seems to me to be a sport invented just to see how high the ratio of money spent vs. actual exercise could be. Right up there with NASCAR, except that in NASCAR racing, you might get killed. Golf isn't too dangerous, except for the rare unexpected event:
Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
1.Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
Think that's bad? How about the equipment used for golf!
THE DEAL
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."
Little Johnny walks up to him and says, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the young boy is being silly and that an answer would be meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."
Little Johnny moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, Little Johnny moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"
The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.
As the golfer walks to the clubhouse, Little Johnny walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life!!" 
"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name is Father O'Malley."
More golf jokes are available.
Misscellania Definition
Misty: How some golfers create divots.
Thought for today: I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser. ~Arnold Palmer
This post originally appeared on October 6, 2005.
PS: I told you I wouldn't ask you to go click on me anymore at 25peeps.com. So I am asking you to go and click on Saskboy's photo! Here's what he looks like.
Reader Comments (11)
WOO-HOO!!
(Do you think this will help me get my book published?)
John
BTW, it looks like you should be sucking on something or showing skin if you want people to click on your 25Peeps pic, judging from the people to the left and right of you there.