For this post, I’ve deliberately stayed away from such broad subjects as run-of-the-mill plastic surgery (which I’ve already posted on), reconstructive surgery, and gender reassignment surgery (although it is touched on a bit in the article on bionics).  The focus today will be limited to piercings, tattoos, and the kind of elective bodymods you may have never heard of before.

A glossary of extreme bodymods.

Piercing complications making the news lately include massive infection and nerve damage. Bodymods may also affect your employability, depending on the current dress code at your company. However, some are relaxing those codes.

Bionics is the enhancement of the human body with technological implants, like robots or computer chips.

It was once the custom in Myanmar (formerly Burma) to tattoo young girl’s faces to keep them safe from kidnappers. This woman is one of the last survivors of that generation. (via Arbroath)

What could be cooler than implanted Wolverine claws? If you’re into that sort of thing, ya know. They are temporary.

The Tattooed Professor: Bruce Potts is a teacher of Public Speaking at the University of New Mexico and has a full tribal face tattoo.

If you’re wondering “how they do it”, here’s a video of a forehead implant. (Warning: graphic)

Awesome Webcomic Tattoos.

The Piercing Song.

Grills are jewelry wore on the teeth. Sometimes they are permanent. Here’s a how-to guide from a dentist. I hope this is aimed at other dentists. I’m not sure.

In Asia, leg-extension surgery is increasingly popular.(via Arbroath)

This study finds a direct correlation between the number of tattoos and the lack of teeth in motorcycle gang members. With a graph and footnotes.

Eak the Geek.

Insectivora.

The Do Not Resucitate tattoo.

Really Bad Tattoos.

Worst Tattoos Ever.

For those who have tattoo regrets, but no money for laser removal, there’s the Magic Wand Home Tattoo Removal System™! Personally, I’d say “No, thank you.” (via Arbroath)

The most requested bodymod for a woman. Requested by men, that is.

When enough people get tattoos, those folks cease to stand out in a crowd.

Dear Useless Men,
I have a tattoo on my lower back, centered on my spine, that I want to add to. Something to spice it up. Right now, it represents Gemini, and is a stylized Roman numeral 2.
What would you suggest? I’ve attached a picture for your reference.
See what the Useless Men came up with for this one!

Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced?
A: A buck-an-ear!

Q: how much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?
A: An arm and a leg

THE NEW EARRING

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

You know someone had to get a Snakes on a Plane tattoo. And a lot of publicity over it.

Tattoos based on toys and movies.

Tattoos that glow under a blacklight. I wonder how popular these will be in twenty years.

Religious Tattoos. (via the J-Walk Blog)

Celebrity tattoos. These are awesome, because they are Photoshopped!

2006 NYC Tattoo Convention.

BB KING

(Thanks, Mike!)
B.B.King’s wife decides to get his initials "BB" tattooed on her butt cheeks, one B on each. This was going her gift for his upcoming birthday.

When the day arrives, she proudly announces her gift for him by pulling down her underpants and baring her ass in front of his face.

B.B. does a double take and asks, "Who in the hell is BOB?"

Video: I got my ears pierced because...

Barbie gets pierced. Not for children, by any means.

HOLIDAYS

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her inner right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good.

The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" down on her inner left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your inner thighs?" 

She says "I'm sick and tired of my man complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

Previously on Miss Cellania: Tattoo and Plastic Surgery

Thought for today: I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future. (Richard Jeni)

humor jokes video funny tattoo piercing bodymod body art tats