Miss Cellania

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Overheard

And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Philosophy | Main | Lunch »
Tuesday
17Oct2006

Pumpkins

Grouchopumpkin.png

Everybody's got a pumpkin or two or a bazillion decorating their porch, yard, or business. I mean, really, what are they good for besides jack-o-lanterns? I've cooked many a pumpkin, and I've come to the conclusion that it ain't worth the effort. A can at the grocery store is rather cheap, easy to measure, and has the consistency you don't find in home cooked pumpkins. So we carve them, display them, take their pictures, and send them around the world on the internet.


A new phenomenon I've noticed this year is inflatable pumpkins. The regular 12-inch diameter vegetable is not good enough anymore. Sriving at night, I see many many six-foot inflatable pumpkins with lights inside and ghosts that pop out of the top. Now, THERE's the way to celebrate the harvest and appease the souls of the undead!

Carving a pumpkin is easy, carving a GREAT jack-o-lantern takes skill. First, take this quiz to find out what kind of face you should put on yours. Or you may decide to put something besides a face, like this Chinese Fu (luck) symbol. (Thanks, Kirby!) Maybe you'd prefer these Star Wars Jack O’Lantern stencil.

If you've never done this before, you may want to look up some instructions. Or not. For inspiration, check out Extreme Pumpkins (warning: some of these involve chainsaws). Or if you just want to feel like an inferior pumpkin carver, look at the works of art displayed at Pumpkin Gutter. Turn a regular pumpkin in to something special with Ray’s pumpkin-carving tutorial, featuring wonderful 3-d carved images. If you can recreate these works of art, you’ll be the envy of the neighborhood. (via J-Walk Blog) Get your pumpkin envy juices flowing with a look at the amazing Jack O'Lanterns at Pumpkin Way.

Or you can find instructions on this pumpkin blog on how to make a fake pumpkin, 20 feet tall. And no discussion on pumpkins would be complete with mentioning the World Punkin Chunkin Championship. You still have time to make plans to attend, and proceeds go to charity, including St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

Then just give up and carve a virtual pumpkin (OK for kids). Aristotle has one you can animate! But this one you can animate and then smash! Better yet, one you can send to your friends and familyThe Pumpkinizer puts your picture onto a virtual Jack O’Lantern!

The Life and Death of a Pumpkin 

Here’s some really wild but kid-friendly pumpkin craft projects, including Jack O’Lantern Carving, at Family Fun.

Defend yourself against ghosts and ghouls by throwing pumpkins in the game Pumpkin Toss. Mindless but cute.

See the World’s Largest Jack O’Lantern, big enough to hold 3 million gallons!

Marti has more pumpkin links and fun at Pumpkins.

If you've come this far, here's all you ever wanted to know about pumpkins

WHEN PUMPKINS PARTY

 

 

 

 

PUMPKINS IN REAL TROUBLE

(from Extreme Pumpkins)











 

Please don't bother to explain to me that the following story is not true. Its a joke. I have seen at least a dozen versions, and they all have different locations.

Pumpkin Patch

The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the

Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.

"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over, picked out a pumpkin, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?"

Patrol officer Brenda Taylor pulled over and approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

"I just went up and said"... "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"

"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?'"

While we are on the subject of Halloween, I need to throw this in...Most people are familiar with Michael Jackson’s groundbreaking video for the song Thriller. Lately, we’ve also seen the video in different forms, such as the Thriller in Legos, Thriller in Second Life, and the Bollywood style (although its a different song). But nothing beats a live public recreation! Every October, Mecca Dance Studio and Gallery stages a resurrection of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video in the streets of downtown Lexington, Kentucky. See a video of last year’s performance here, and a Flickr photoset here. This year’s event is set for October 22nd. Participation is free and open to the public. However, they would like you attend the rehearsals. pu9.jpg

Thought for today: I've learned there are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin. -Linus

The original version of this updated post appeared on October 16, 2005.


 

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  • Response
    It Punkin Chunkin time! The 2006 World Punkin Chunkin Championship will be held November 3-5 in Sussex County, Delaware. Contestants build complex contraptions to shoot or fling pumpkins to amazing distances. There?s also a pumpkin cooking contest, a chili...

Reader Comments (10)

Pumpkins, pumpkins everywhere! I love it! :-)
10.18.05 @ 12:02AM | Unregistered CommenterFreebird
Linus is, undoubtably, correct ;-)
10.17.06 @ 05:28AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
Seeds...It's all about the baked punkin seeds! I love 'em, so I'll be carving these orange squash every year for as long as I'm able. :-)
10.17.06 @ 06:09AM | Unregistered CommenterCarlos
I stopped carving pumpkins years ago when I realized the only people who'd see them would be me, the neighbors across the hall, and the landlord who would come up and yell at me to get rid of the molding carcass by November 12...
10.17.06 @ 09:52AM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Great stuff as always hon! Thanks for including me!

That Life and Death of a Pumpkin made me laugh SOOOO hard! LOL

Hope you have a wonderful day!
10.17.06 @ 10:09AM | Unregistered CommenterMarti
Loved the photos. And I had never seen the Thriller Lego video before. Too funny!
10.17.06 @ 01:29PM | Unregistered CommenterMonique
We'll all be watching out for the Great Pumpkin this year!
10.17.06 @ 03:04PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
I miss the pumpkin carving days, we always washed the seeds and roasted them in the oven. Mmm. I can hardly believe Halloween is almost here. Fun post, Miss C!
10.17.06 @ 06:07PM | Unregistered CommenterKaren
To this day I still hold out hope that the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch.
10.17.06 @ 06:51PM | Unregistered CommenterSenor
"Desperate for a leak ..."

GROAN!
10.18.06 @ 11:14AM | Unregistered CommenterPenny

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