When I was a kid, there would occasionally be days when everything would go wrong. That was when my Dad would quote Pogo. “Looks like Friday the Thirteenth came on a Monday this month,” he’d say, and we would all laugh. I guess I was easily amused. Personally, I don’t see how anyone could think a Friday is a bad thing. Here's some things to laugh about on this Friday the Thirteenth.

How Friday the 13th works.

Possible origins of the Friday the Thirteenth superstition.

Another school of thought says it is derived from the Knights Templar.

The thirteenth of the month is slightly more likely to be on a Friday than on any other day. Here’s the mathematical proof, if you can decipher it.

The largest list of superstitions on the web.

Is Friday the 13th bad for your health?

Send a Friday the 13th ecard to show your friends how much you care!

Popeye in I Don’t Scare

Democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head -- this signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle. -Johnny Carson

Website for the movie Friday the Thirteenth.  Rent one or two of the series with someone you love tonight. If you enjoyed those movies, and want to scare yourself silly again, check out the site Friday the Thirteenth: Jason’s Bloodbath. Then there’s the parody movie Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth. If the Friday the Thirteenth movies are all rented out, this might just do for tonight.

This would be a good time to order your Jason Voorhees doll. Its only $69.99!

Pablo Francisco on the Friday the 13th movies.

BAD LUCK

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.

Stevie Wonder does Superstition

LOYALTY

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every day. One day, when he came to, he motioned her to come nearer. He whispered, eyes full of tears: "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When our house burnt down, you were there. When my health started failing, you were by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?", she gently asked.

"I think you are bad luck", he said.

THE FRIDAY THE 13TH VIRUS

It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.
It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.
It will drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over.
It will put a dead aardvark in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Friday 13th Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice!
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Friday 13th Virus will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up.
It will leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
Friday 13th Virus will cause your cakes to fall and your blood pressure to rise.
It will increase the ability of your radio to pick up reactionary talk stations at the expense of others.
It causes scurvy, but it gives you mega garlic breath as it does so, which makes the net results negative.
It cheats at Scrabble.
It can forge your signature.
It plays the bagpipes in your basement.
It shaves over your bathroom sink and then leaves the hair to clog your drain.
It does bad celebrity impersonations in front of your friends.

POETRY

Get a rabbit's foot, a 4-leaf clover or even a horseshoe.
If you think that might help, it could always be true.
But no matter how much it seems like an unlucky time,
It isn't any fun to sit home and whine.

MY LUCKY FRIEND

Some people just seem to have a lot of luck. A friend of mine is one of those card players who can almost always draw whatever he needs to win a hand in poker, but loses big time at the races.

I asked him about this once and he replied, "Well ... they won't let me shuffle the horses."

 
Thought for today: It is bad luck to be superstitious.

PS A note to the usual suspects, check this out!

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