Bras
Monday, 01.16.06 @ 12:01AM 
Women will talk about bras and breasts in the manner they would talk about hair, or toenails, or going grocery shopping. But only out of earshot of any male. Men can become paralyzed by the mere mention of anything remotely to do with our frontage. Doesn't matter what kind you have. Mine is nothing to write home about, but the last time I wore a t-shirt with a slogan on it, a guy at work blamed the shirt for his tunnel vision (exact quote: "Your shirt is making me stare at your chest"). In a conversation (with a man) the other night, we were covering this and that, different topics, but it all was completely sidetracked when I mentioned the word "Wonderbra". You'd think a homing device had gone off! No matter what else we talked about, the word "Wonderbra" came back again and again. So I had to share a joke. He didn't believe I had a file of bra jokes. Oooh, buddy, you would not BELIEVE how many jokes I have, about bras, and lots of other topics you just cannot focus on right now.
The physics of bras. (Thanks, Kate!)
The history of bras.
All about the push-up bra.
The fourth annual Boobie-Thon.
From a British humor site:
Q. What is the definition of an American Bra?
A. One yank and it's off
How 'bout a game: Do you think you can remove this bra? You'll have to click the link, the picture at left is just a photo.
MAMMOGRAM
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your 
breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. You are now properly prepared.
The Susan G. Koman Breast Cancer Foundation has lots of information about breast cancer. Gotta get those mammies grammed!
What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
TSB on heated bras.
There�s nothing like a good bra. And a good bra-fitter!
| You Are a Lace Bra! |
 Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminine You're a womanly woman who makes guys feel like men Your perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsome With a softer side that only you can draw out |
THE LIVING BRA
An old man was reminiscing. He pondered, I remember, many years ago, that ex-wife of mine came home from a department store with one of those new-fangled "living" bras.
After a day or two, she declared that it was the best, most comfortable and most wonderful bra she had ever worn. As a result, she took the best care possible with it. She would wash it in the mildest soap, rinse it in the purest water and carefully hung it in the sun to dry. Every night she would carefully hang it on the bedpost where it would be handy for her in the morning.
We thought it was a very happy "living" bra.
However, one morning, tragedy struck. We awoke to find the "living" bra had died. At first we thought it had died of natural causes, but soon discovered it had committed suicide, for it had left a note saying that "Sorry, but I couldn't go on living an empty life."
Previously at Miss Cellania: Bras 2, Breasts, Underwear, Underthings, Underwear and Lingerie, and Fresh Underwear
Thought for today: Thanks for the mammaries.
PS If I don't get any comments on this one, I will give up and shut this site down permanently.
humor links breasts bra mammogram
Reader Comments (11)
Thanks for your support.
(snark snark)
Can you still not come to my blog??? :-( :-(
We miss you! :-(
...I need some change, got two nipples for a dime?