Friday
20Nov2009
Friday
20Nov2009
Link Dump
Friday, 11.20.09 @ 04:00PM 
Most Awesome Lifetime Movie Titles Ever. (via Gorilla Mask)
Internet Vices.
Health Care Debate Update: The public option may not be dead, but it sure smells like a corpse.
Pictures of a polar bear attacking a human! (via Fark)
The weirdest news stories of the week.
in Links
Links Friday
20Nov2009
I'm Hurt
Friday, 11.20.09 @ 01:51PM 
Elmhurst Hospital lost of couple of lights in its letters. (via Buzzfeed)
Friday
20Nov2009
For Northerners Moving South
Friday, 11.20.09 @ 12:02PM 
In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
(Thanks, April!)
Friday
20Nov2009
Kids Reenact the First Thanksgiving
Friday, 11.20.09 @ 09:05AM
Aren't they adorable? And historically accurate?
Friday
20Nov2009
Friday
20Nov2009
Friday
20Nov2009
Head Covering
Friday, 11.20.09 @ 12:03AM 
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering.
The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head.
The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse."
"But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.
"Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!" he insists.
(via It Occurred to Me)
Thursday
19Nov2009
Thursday
19Nov2009
Link Dump
Thursday, 11.19.09 @ 11:28PM 
How (and why) did Twilight become such a phenomenon? It's not just because preteen girls are smitten with vampires -older women are, too.
Can you name the most commonly used words in the English language? In this quiz, you'll have twelve minutes to name the 100 words most used. (via J-Walk Blog)
National Geographic photographer Paul Nicklen made friends with an Antarctic leopard seal. It was mostly a one-way relationship, as the seal considered him to be helpless and not-too-bright.
A drunk bridesmaid, a bride with a nosebleed, and a disastrous pole dance attempt. Now that's what you call a wedding to remember!
In horse racing: Your Guide to the Dictator's Cup.
An adorable moment from The Today Show.
Thursday
19Nov2009
Thursday
19Nov2009
Thursday
19Nov2009
Floor Tiles
Thursday, 11.19.09 @ 12:02PM 
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor tiles.
Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction-cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in.
"Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said.
"S'truth," Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl! I'll go across the road and get Cobber (his mate)."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way, we can't do it, "Cobber said, "so let's try Plan B."
"Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?"
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on," Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?," Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that, mate!"
"No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive."
(Thanks, Rich!)
Thursday
19Nov2009
Run Your Life with Flowcharts!
Thursday, 11.19.09 @ 09:41AM 
Decisions, decisions -you make them constantly about big and little things. Daily decision making might be easier for you if you used these handy flowcharts. On the other hand, they might wreck your life! Choose wisely, but enjoy the ride in these seven flowcharts I listed at mental_floss.
